$16 gym membership payment, $20 credit card repayment, $20 overdraft repayment, $5 fine repayment, $40 on groceries, $20 haircut, $35.80 tobacco (and papers and filters), $15 new shirt, $130 aside for when the property manger comes to pick up rent (because my benefit didn't automatically redirect it), $10 RuneScape membership, $3 ear-ring, $3 Lift Plus, $20 for the bill tins, and I still have about $30.

I. Feel. So. Rich.

My Invalid's Benefit finally got approved AND...

I received a phone call from WINZ. Miracle of miracles, it was actually GOOD news! Apparently all the right buttons have now been pushed, and I should get paid tomorrow. At which point I will need to check to make sure that part of my benefit is still being redirected in order to pay my rent. Just to make sure. Don't want my landlord to end up short or whatever.

Leisa came over. She said a lot of stuff. All stuff I've heard before, none stuff that I'm particularly interested in hearing...

So, my benefit didn't go in, at all. The money from Keys did though, so I had just enough to make a payment on my fine repayment thingy. But aside from that . . . I have nothing.

I rang WINZ and apparently they're a hop, skip and a jump away from approving my Invalid's Benefit, but they need somebody at the actual office to do that hopping, skipping, and jumping. They said that they'd get somebody to ring me back.

It has to be done before Friday, because my application...

(My cat is trying to sit on my laptop. Very helpful, not.)

So I'm a bit worried. I know my flatmate's been self-harming, but it's not that deep and she isn't threatening to kill herself or anything and it is giving her brief respite from the voices, so I don't see the issue.

However her keyworker came over today and said that her doctor said that if she continues to self-harm she'll be put in hospital, and taken back out of independent living. They also think that the...

I'm still in a pretty decent mood.
I polished off that party mix last night. Which I mildly regret tonight, because it was nothing short of sugary deliciousness.

I washed my bloody jewellery in the shower tonight. It is now all clean and dry, and I am pleased. Practically every scab has been picked at least once. They're nearly healed, I reckon by the time Friday comes it'll just be dry skin and scars.

I started reading The Stand again because I'm temporarily...

Sitting at my laptop, can randomly smell french fries. I am down with that. There are no french fries in the house, all the windows and stuff are closed, and there's a brick wall between me and the neighbours. Heh, phantom smell. At least it's a good smell. I mean damn, smells like fast food and I'm not even at McDonald's.

Leisa said today that she'd talk to WINZ next week to try and speed up the process of me going on Invalid's benefit. It'll be good to go on it, cos then I can shout...

Wakes up some time pre-dawn, wondering why the fuck she's just dreamed of being indecently assaulted in Newmarket. Goes back to sleep.

Wakes up and gets out of bed around 10:30am. Eats 4 weetbix, with milk and sugar. Brushes teeth, has a shower, climbs into (mostly) clean clothes. Rolls a smoke and smokes it, leaves for the bus stop.

Catches a bus to Manukau, walks from Manukau to Lambie Drive. Realises she's about an hour early. Rolls another smoke and smokes it, plays...

So yesterday I went for a walk, and went to stand on a motorway overbridge and look at traffic. I admit when I left home I was thinking of jumping, but as soon as I saw how low it was (barely 4m, maybe 5 at a massive push) I threw away that idea because I figured the most likely outcome would be a broken ankle. So I just stood there watching traffic for a while, and counting marked police cars. I got up to 7 (I was aiming for 10, then I was going to walk home), and what should happen but a uniformed...

So, last Monday Sam came home.
Last Tuesday was Sam's birthday. We celebrated with drinks and pizza, it was good, and we were like, cool.
Wednesday was normal.

Thursday I overdosed on zopiclone, drank half a bottle of rum, and went for a long walk which I spent most of cutting myself with a razorblade - unusual for me, I don't usually enjoy razorblades.

I was stopped by a member of the public who was concerned about the amount of blood. She contacted emergency...

Sam got let out of respite so she's home and it's birthday tomorrow so we will be having drinks. Sam also said that Leisa's coming over tomorrow.

I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognise so I answered it, and it was probation. Me and Sam both freaked out because we both thought the police were going to come and arrest me for breach. Oops. Anyway, the lady came to my place, and basically just did the supervision appointment there, and I'm back on weekly appointments....