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Don't know.
Posted January 2nd 2016 at 08:25 AM by i_like_black
Am I depressed? Don't know.
So much that I don't know.
Got my wishes. Sleeping lots, and the weather's been great for this because it's been raining off and on a fair bit for the last few days - I think it started raining just after I got home from hospital.
I had to spend most of the night for medical reasons - they said my heart was working too hard because of the speed it was going at. I had hourly ECGs for 6 hours or something. It was a rough night, I remember needing to pee so badly I was going to wet the bed and yet I couldn't reach the nurse-call button with my arm and I didn't have the strength or control of my limbs to move me closer to it. The irony! The one time I actually needed one, I couldn't get to it.
So I tried to yell out, but I had mad drys and nothing but a low sort of "eeeeelllllll" which was not very effective - I could barely hear it myself. Then an HCA came to check on me and I managed to whisper to him what I wanted.
So anyway I got to the loo and back without falling over or any other incident.
I only remember two of the ECGs that were done on Short-Stay - the first was my second of the night and the nurse explained about the hourly thing etc. The OTHER ECG I remember was much stranger. I remember being half-awake in my head and I could feel someone undoing my buttons (the ones on my shirt). I started to freak out, I thought I was being assaulted or something. So I tried to bring myself back to being awake with my eyes OPEN - it was hella hard, I also tried to move around, which was a bit more successful. Eventually someone told me it was okay, just another ECG, and then I realised there were two or three staff around my bed. And I remember nothing else about that ECG.
I think they were doing GCS checks through the night, because I remember them going through the consciousness checks I learned in first-aid
- you know, start with saying their name, say it louder, tap them somewhere on their body, see if they respond to pain etc. Mostly I remember them saying my name, but I know I went lower after that, because I have a vague memory of - something?
It was a rougher night than I expected but not too bad. I'm sleeping really well now. Well, not really.
They ask about your sleep and your eating.
About your suicidal thoughts.
Just want to be left alone. No visitors, just internet sometimes.
Maybe I am depressed?
Doesn't matter. They'll just tell me to take the pills.
So much that I don't know.
Got my wishes. Sleeping lots, and the weather's been great for this because it's been raining off and on a fair bit for the last few days - I think it started raining just after I got home from hospital.
I had to spend most of the night for medical reasons - they said my heart was working too hard because of the speed it was going at. I had hourly ECGs for 6 hours or something. It was a rough night, I remember needing to pee so badly I was going to wet the bed and yet I couldn't reach the nurse-call button with my arm and I didn't have the strength or control of my limbs to move me closer to it. The irony! The one time I actually needed one, I couldn't get to it.
So I tried to yell out, but I had mad drys and nothing but a low sort of "eeeeelllllll" which was not very effective - I could barely hear it myself. Then an HCA came to check on me and I managed to whisper to him what I wanted.
So anyway I got to the loo and back without falling over or any other incident.
I only remember two of the ECGs that were done on Short-Stay - the first was my second of the night and the nurse explained about the hourly thing etc. The OTHER ECG I remember was much stranger. I remember being half-awake in my head and I could feel someone undoing my buttons (the ones on my shirt). I started to freak out, I thought I was being assaulted or something. So I tried to bring myself back to being awake with my eyes OPEN - it was hella hard, I also tried to move around, which was a bit more successful. Eventually someone told me it was okay, just another ECG, and then I realised there were two or three staff around my bed. And I remember nothing else about that ECG.
I think they were doing GCS checks through the night, because I remember them going through the consciousness checks I learned in first-aid
- you know, start with saying their name, say it louder, tap them somewhere on their body, see if they respond to pain etc. Mostly I remember them saying my name, but I know I went lower after that, because I have a vague memory of - something? It was a rougher night than I expected but not too bad. I'm sleeping really well now. Well, not really.
They ask about your sleep and your eating.
About your suicidal thoughts.
Just want to be left alone. No visitors, just internet sometimes.
Maybe I am depressed?
Doesn't matter. They'll just tell me to take the pills.
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