Recent events.

So, if you know me on facebook, you already know more or less what happened. But seeing as this is my blog, and Debbie is encouraging blogging for the emotional exposure that is part and parcel of it, I'll tell the whole story here.

On Friday 13th February, my buddy Jordan finally contacted me again. He sent a facebook message saying he had bud if I wanted to come over. Being me, I don't turn down free weed, so I said sure and drove to his place.

While we were stoned I suggested that maybe we go back to my place for the weekend to play games, smoke, watch TV, listen to music, eat . . . you know, just hang out and have a good weekend. He thought that was a good idea and asked if we could go to his mum's place to see if he could trade his remaining tobacco (I had a 50g we could share) in exchange for borrowing his brother's laptop for the weekend. His brother said ok.

So we went to Pak'n'Save to get snacks and then settled down at my place to enjoy ourselves. I played RuneScape, Jordan played a mixture of games - he doesn't have a laptop so he was really enjoying using his brother's. We watched movies and listened to music, all while also on the internet.

Some time between two and three in the morning of the 14th of February, some guys came over and asked if we could give them a ride around the town in exchange for petrol and some weed. We figured why not? I was one of the few people in the area with a car and actually was asked frequently to give people rides at weird times of day.

So we left and drove around for what felt like ages (was actually an hour or so), and I got sick of it. We never did get the weed or the petrol money.

We got home and my light was off and my front door unlocked. I knew immediately that something was wrong, because I'd left the light on and the door locked.

I opened the door and turned on the light, and the first thing I noticed was mess. Everywhere. Now I'm a little messy, but this was extreme. The next thing I noticed, was that the laptops were gone. And my fitbit. And my shoes. And my xbox. And my tobacco.

So I called the police, knowing that the burglary couldn't have happened too long ago. I was put through to the crime reporting line, and told that no units were available to assist. (I remain convinced that a dog unit would have been able to track the thieves.) I had to explain everything that had happened, as well as try to figure out how the thieves got in (most likely through a window) as well as try to stay calm even though everything was falling apart.

Once I got off the phone I smashed a window. I'm not good at handling distress, so it was really impulsive.

Jordan then told me that he wasn't feeling safe and he wanted to go home, so I re-locked everything and drove him home. After that I overdosed, then drove to hospital. I was in hospital for about a day receiving medical treatment, and was then discharged to respite.

When in respite, I was told I had to go home for a few hours to clean up and to get some clothes.

On the Tuesday I went home briefly in the afternoon, to find that a kitchen window had been broken and removed (not the one I smashed), and that basically everything of value not nailed down had been taken, including whiteware. And all sorts of small stuff.

Basically I was cleaned out. I handed in my notice to the landlord (I was in a fixed term until May but they said given the circumstances they'd accept a 21 day notice), as I no longer felt safe living there.

I'm at my Mum's for now, but that's only temporary. As well as the stress of having lost so much, I now have the added stress of trying to find somewhere new to stay. It's not easy and I'm really struggling. I know that my suicide and self-harm urges are currently in response to very high distress levels, but that doesn't make it any easier.

My family is planning to set up a give-a-little page for me, and I've had a lot of offers of help, which is nice.

I feel terrible for Jordan though, because his family think he sold the laptop for drugs - he didn't, it was stolen along with all my stuff - and his brothers are no longer talking to him. It's not even his fault.

So, yeah.

tl;dr life sucks.