F
Drowning.
Posted September 29th 2013 at 09:28 PM by i_like_black
The waves come and they're big and they're strong, they drag me under, it's slow drowning, it's terrifying, how long until I break? Until I cannot breathe? How long until I snap? Can I make it through? I have doubts.
This hopelessness is overwhelming. I can see the good and the positive but I can't feel it. And it's the feeling it that's vital to wanting to continue. I don't want to continue. I want everything to end. I want everything to stop. I want to be in a place where there's nothing, where I'm nothing, the great vacuum of death.
I don't have a way to kill myself and that makes me so very sad. I want to say morose but the reality is - I'm very sad that I have to live through this. Again.
I am seeing Debbie at 1:00 PM. I do not know what will come of it. I don't even know if I'll be able to talk properly. I feel like crying a lot. I wake up needing to cry, but the tears won't come, the sorrow lives in my chest. If only I could tear out my heart.
I am so low.
This hopelessness is overwhelming. I can see the good and the positive but I can't feel it. And it's the feeling it that's vital to wanting to continue. I don't want to continue. I want everything to end. I want everything to stop. I want to be in a place where there's nothing, where I'm nothing, the great vacuum of death.
I don't have a way to kill myself and that makes me so very sad. I want to say morose but the reality is - I'm very sad that I have to live through this. Again.
I am seeing Debbie at 1:00 PM. I do not know what will come of it. I don't even know if I'll be able to talk properly. I feel like crying a lot. I wake up needing to cry, but the tears won't come, the sorrow lives in my chest. If only I could tear out my heart.
I am so low.
Total Comments 1
Comments
-
Posted September 30th 2013 at 01:33 AM by Ennui.