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Drowning.
Posted September 29th 2013 at 09:28 PM by i_like_black
The waves come and they're big and they're strong, they drag me under, it's slow drowning, it's terrifying, how long until I break? Until I cannot breathe? How long until I snap? Can I make it through? I have doubts.
This hopelessness is overwhelming. I can see the good and the positive but I can't feel it. And it's the feeling it that's vital to wanting to continue. I don't want to continue. I want everything to end. I want everything to stop. I want to be in a place where there's nothing, where I'm nothing, the great vacuum of death.
I don't have a way to kill myself and that makes me so very sad. I want to say morose but the reality is - I'm very sad that I have to live through this. Again.
I am seeing Debbie at 1:00 PM. I do not know what will come of it. I don't even know if I'll be able to talk properly. I feel like crying a lot. I wake up needing to cry, but the tears won't come, the sorrow lives in my chest. If only I could tear out my heart.
I am so low.
This hopelessness is overwhelming. I can see the good and the positive but I can't feel it. And it's the feeling it that's vital to wanting to continue. I don't want to continue. I want everything to end. I want everything to stop. I want to be in a place where there's nothing, where I'm nothing, the great vacuum of death.
I don't have a way to kill myself and that makes me so very sad. I want to say morose but the reality is - I'm very sad that I have to live through this. Again.
I am seeing Debbie at 1:00 PM. I do not know what will come of it. I don't even know if I'll be able to talk properly. I feel like crying a lot. I wake up needing to cry, but the tears won't come, the sorrow lives in my chest. If only I could tear out my heart.
I am so low.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Maybe you can write Debbie a letter instead of talking? I know that you're really awesome at writing. Maybe you can even write down what you said in this blog and tell her what you're feeling like that? You deserve her support.
Posted September 30th 2013 at 01:33 AM by Ennui.
