>.<

Sometimes it feels like everybody's suicidal and there's nothing I can do to help because you're all so far away. Seriously, what's with that? How am I meant to help you, or even comfort you, when you're so far away? I wish I could. I wish I could.

I know I'm not in the best place myself, with self-harm and that, but I'm not directly suicidal either. Oh sure, I have thoughts, and a plan, and the means, but I no longer have a timeframe. I could kill myself. But I don't want to. Because there's too much about being alive that I genuinely enjoy.

Maybe my perception is twisted, and they see the world more clearly than I do. Or maybe I'm too easily pleased, and my world is just simpler than theirs because of that.

Anyway. I love my friends. And if I could be there for you all, I would be. In an instant. And I'm sorry that all of you have to experience all that crappiness.

Now, onto me.
I had a shower last night. Well, early this morning. Who cares, at least I had a shower.
Then today, Tristan dropped over the $20 (which is good, I thought I'd never see it again), then I had Subway for breakfast, and did my shopping.

Break it down: $25 at the supermarket, $15 and the butcher, $10 at the greengrocer's. Then I still had money left for tailies, and I also made sure I put aside $10 for the train on Tuesday, when I'm helping with stocktake at Mum's work.

And that's my day, more or less. Nothing exciting, nothing major, just me doing my stuff.