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When the budget WORKS!

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Posted January 15th 2013 at 08:29 PM by i_like_black

Well, more or less.
This week, I did everything I intended to do with my money, and I still have a little left over so I'll probably go to the bakery for lunch. Good times.

The only negative, as far as money is concerned, is that we still haven't received a power bill, and I am shit-scared about how big it's going to be. We've been here since the end of July, so that's 6 months worth of power for two people - it's easily a grand. I plan to start putting $30 aside every week so that when I do get the power bill, at least there's something there to contribute to it. The thing was, we were supposed to both be putting aside $10 a week for it, and we did for the first little while, but then we stopped, and we spent the money that we had put aside.

I have been paying the phone/internet bill on my own, because it's in my name I decided it was unfair to ask my flatmate to contribute to it - also, she barely uses the internet. She does use the landline, but whatever. She's meant to be moving tomorrow anyway so yeah. The only financial issue I have is the power bill that hasn't come yet. Leisa returns on Monday and I'm going to ask her to look into it, because I'd rather get the bill and be able to start paying it off, than just sit here not knowing and occasionally panicking about it. Life of responsibilities

I'm a bit torn with emotions and shit. On the one hand, I want to stay alive and play RuneScape and give myself the opportunity to be successful. On the other hand, I'm still saving meds for a potential suicide attempt in the future. I bought some pencil sharpeners today. It seems to me that the more frequently I self-harm, the less I think of suicide as a viable option. Whereas when I'm not self-harming, and deliberately trying not to, I think about suicide a lot more.

Yeah. I guess I'm okay at the moment. I'm averaging about 5 hours sleep a night. I fall asleep, then I wake up like PING, fully awake, check the time, and it's like almost exactly 5 hours from the last time I checked it. I'm not feeling tired and exhausted like I was before, so I guess it's enough sleep for me. It's nice to actually BE sleeping, on that note.

Oh, and the weather's cooler at the moment thanks to some very welcome rain. Nice.
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  1. Old Comment
    Palmolive's Avatar
    Hang in there, okay? I want you to be alive. Throw the stash away? Don't let suicide be an option. You deserve more.

    You can do this. <3
    permalink
    Posted January 15th 2013 at 08:41 PM by Palmolive Palmolive is offline
 
 
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