Life.

Went to pharmacy, picked up meds.
Went to supermarket, bought a loaf of bread.
Bread has gone up 10c. Lame.

Just standing outside having a smoke just now, thinking to myself -

What if I'm not actually unwell? What if I really just want attention? What if I'm not actually suicidal, I just want somebody else to take care of me? I don't know man. I get really depressed, but is that real? I get massive urges to do stuff, but doesn't everybody? I'm really intelligent, and yet I'm still under mental health, although I've talked my way out in the past. Do I like being in trouble? Is this a real thing?

Also, I'm waiting for my cat to come inside. It's not too late yet, but he does stay out late sometimes.
And, when I'm finally hungry, my body goes NAH GON GIVE YOU DIARROHEA BITCH, so even though I eat . . . it's like I don't, I guess. I would really like to weigh myself to see if my weight is the same or if I've lost weight - but no batteries for my scales.

My scabs are itchy.

I don't know what I'm doing with myself. Times like these, off my meds, not sleeping so well, body not reacting well to food, afternoon naps, concentration weird but not gone . . . I wonder if I'm actually mentally ill. Or if I'm just lazy. But then I know if I get a job, or start studying, I won't cope.

I'm confused.