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Posted December 30th 2012 at 08:07 AM by i_like_black

Keri came over this morning. Didn't ask anything about the hoodie. Said I was clearly shattered. Offered to come over again later. I declined.

Last night, I'd just fallen asleep, and there was really loud knocking on the door. I didn't want to get it, but it kept going on for ages, so I went to my window at roughly the same time as my flatmate answered the door. It was the police. It was 2am. I was like, whafuck? And my flatmate felt the same. Turns out the guy that used to live here gave this as his address. We were not impressed.

I couldn't get back to sleep, then at 4:30am I had to get up to deal with some violent and painful diarrohea. Woo, funtimes. Still couldn't sleep. It started raining around 7ish and I fell asleep for an hour or so, and then my cat came running into my bedroom with a squealing bird. Good on him for catching it, but I didn't want birdshit on the carpet, and I wasn't happy about being woken up.

So that's two nights in a row I haven't slept.

I'm still cutting daily.

Keri said that it might be Abi who comes tomorrow. I just cannot talk to that guy, he's more than just one sandwich short of the full picnic.

Honestly I should probably be in hospital or respite. If somebody onto it comes tomorrow, that may happen. I'm not looking forward to New Year's. It's tomorrow. I don't feel like drinking, and I think getting stoned would be a bad idea. Normally I'm all good with occasional cannabis use, and we've actually been saving some for New Year's celebrations, but where I am at the moment I just don't think it's a good idea.

I feel like I'm losing the plot. It's like there's a bunch of helium balloons and I have to hang on to the strings, but I'm not sure which strings to hang on to so some of them are floating away.

I am completely out of my depth.
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  1. Old Comment
    Palmolive's Avatar
    Sorry about being woken up. Keep fighting okay? You're not out of your depth. You're honestly, more than capable of beating this love. And you're worth it. You've been fighting so long now, giving up would be pointless,

    Hang on. <3
    permalink
    Posted December 30th 2012 at 04:28 PM by Palmolive Palmolive is offline
 
 
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