So tired.

But, I may have made a breakthrough. Whilst I was laying on my bed, clutching my head because I had another headache I realised . . . it's likely to be eye-strain. Now, this is not good news. I got new lenses only a year or so ago, and at 24, my eyes shouldn't be changing that fast. But I'm keeping well hydrated, so it isn't dehydration, and I notice the headaches get worst when I try and read. So I suppose a trip to the optometrist is due in the not too distant future.

Tuesday - shopping with Leisa - freaked out, didn't buy anything. Leisa told Judy that it was obvious how anxious I was. Yeah, because I totally want people knowing that it's actually an issue and not merely something I'm uncomfortable with. Thanks Leisa. -_-

Wednesday - groceries, got a wedding present, wandered around with Sam, went home.

Thursday - probation, RuneScape (I got 86 fishing and 95 woodcutting, btw), went to the supermarket with Sam, got home, realised I didn't text Judy on Wednesday, so sent her a text.

Today. Stayed in bed until I absolutely had to get up. I've been very tired lately. Got up, went to my appointment with Judy. Appointment went okay. ICT has a new psychologist, named Debbie Hayes (sp?), and Judy wants me to see her about the anxiety stuff because of how specific it is. I don't really want to see her, no matter how good everyone thinks she is. Exposure is shit and I hate it, and I don't want to do it. Also, as Judy rightly said, it takes me ages to get to know people, which would be something or a hindrance.

Went to Mum's place after. Found the dress and the long sleeved thingy that I bought around this time last year, so I have something to wear to the wedding. Also, wrapped the wedding present. Lyn will be picking me up and driving me there, and I'll catch a bus home I guess. And that's that, and then that will be over. I am really happy for Karina, but the whole dressing up thing . . . not my thing.

Sleeping weirdly. Some full nights, mostly broken nights at the moment. And some nights with nightmares, some without. I have gruesome and messy nightmares in which I kill other people. It's really unpleasant.

I'm coming up a little but not a lot, I feel like I could be really easily triggered into going low again, especially with the amount of headaches I've been having and how tired I am all the time, and just irritable because I'm constantly so tired.

I'm going to go and have a smoke and get ready for bed.
Glad that TH is up tonight.
Laters peeps.