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4 days . . .

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Posted November 21st 2012 at 06:33 PM by i_like_black

Yeah, 4 days TH was down for. I don't blame anyone, I just find that blogging helps me, so I've been waiting for it to come back online.

On the 19th, Chris Jonkers died in a motorcycle accident. I found out through facebook on Tuesday evening. His funeral is at Waikumete Cemetery on Friday at 2:00pm. I need to find out if I can move my appointment with Judy (which is meant to be 12:30 - 1:30 this week), and if Lyn would be willing to drive me there. I need to find these things out TODAY, today being Thursday.

Went to the Jasco art sale on Tuesday with Mum. Got a new A4 visual diary, and some high-lighters. Then went back to Mum's place, hung out with Nana, mowed the front lawn and got $20 for it. I was pretty stoked, got home and bought a pack of tailies. Also, our flat now has a skateboard. I've ridden it down the driveway, and despite the fact that I am almost definitely too heavy for it, it rode nicely once it built up a bit of momentum.

Yesterday, grocery shopping, bills, and I had enough money left to get RuneScape membership, which makes me happy, because the Evolution of Combat update went live a day or two ago.

I have been cutting a little, but only a little. It's not deep, I just wanted it to sting, not to bleed heaps. No doubt my probation officer will give me heck for it.

I had an appointment with Jens (and Judy) yesterday to discuss my medication. He thinks I'm not as low as I was (still low, just not as badly apparently), and that I'm having trouble motivating myself (no shit). He would like to continue me on my current meds and have me come up slowly, rather than risk me coming up faster and becoming manic. Well, fuck him. I hate being low. And I hate being told that basically I'm going to have to claw my way out of it. I've done that too many times already, and I'm over it. I don't want to have to fight to feel better.

I wish I didn't have this.
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