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The daily struggle.

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Posted November 12th 2012 at 11:04 PM by i_like_black

I wake up around 7 every day, open my door so the cat can leave and go toilet or drink from random places if he so desires, and then get straight back into bed, where I spend the next few hours trying to decide if it's worth getting out of bed, having a drink, eating something, putting on clothes that aren't pyjamas, and rolling a smoke.

Usually I get out of bed around 11, when staying in bed any longer seems slightly ridiculous, and in case somebody comes to visit, I want to look a little alive.

Tristan and me have been texting. I guess that's a good thing. Oh yeah, forgot to mention - he's currently homeless and living out of his car, and has been since sometime in winter. He thinks he'll have a job soon though, and then he won't be homeless anymore.

I still have a cough, left-over from the cold I had last week. I always have a cough for a couple of weeks after having a cold, it's just one of those things. Being a smoker probably doesn't help, but meh, who gives a shit.

I brushed my teeth last night. I still haven't had a shower . . . so that's like . . . 4 days without a shower, or something like that. And I never did manage to convince myself to go to the gym, it just seems like too much effort. Everything feels like too much effort.

I want to cut. I haven't been, well, not very much, but the desire is there, and it's getting pretty desperate, I guess I'll be pulling apart a shaving razor soon enough, just so I can . . . relieve the pressure of wanting to, I suppose.

It's two weeks until Karina's wedding. I still haven't been to Briscoes to get them a present. I guess I'll go next week. I don't exactly have a lot of spare money at the moment, so hopefully there will be something I can afford with relative ease on the list.

I'm mostly on top of my finances, at that. The only real issue is that our power jar is empty, which is mostly my fault, and a little bit Sam's. (When I put $50 or so back in, she used it for tobacco, and then we used some of it on drinks and a tinny that time I got massively wasted.) So soon, as in, when I can afford to, I'll start topping up the power jar again. The way things look at the moment, the bill probably won't even come until Sam's in supported accomodation.

Sam's keyworker came yesterday. She got told they're trying to move her before the end of the month, but a guy from EPIT (Early Psychosis Intervention Team) wants the bed. Apparently they were thinking of putting Sam in MahiTahi, but that makes no sense, because Sam's not Maori, and the EPIT guy *is*. Anyway Sam's keyworker said that there's no way they'll put Sam in MahiTahi.

So yeah. Sam moving soon. I still don't know what to do when she goes, though I suppose I will go to the gym more and probably eat healthier, because once she goes, I'm swapping her fridge-freezer (that doesn't really work), for mine (which does).

Still exhausted, and all that. Leisa hasn't been over this week yet, but it's only Tuesday, so that's not really a big thing.

Kbai.
<3
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