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Still so exhausted.

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Posted November 11th 2012 at 07:44 AM by i_like_black

So utterly, completely exhausted.
Not very hungry.
Tired.
Fidgetty - I have periods where I can't sit still, even if I try.
Overly social, and then when people go, I slip back into myself.

But I'm so very tired. There's not even any good reason why. I'm getting plenty of sleep, and only having minor nightmares - as in, when I wake up, I know they're just nightmares and they're not affecting me so badly, I can go back to sleep and all.

I'm doing that much during the day. I mean, hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to either convince myself with positive thoughts or berate myself enough that I'll end up the gym, but only tomorrow will tell. I just know that I feel completely drained. And I'd love some hugs. Or a human pillow. But I'm scared to ask. Scared of what people would think of me. Scared of them saying no.

My concentration is on the fritz again. Sometimes I can maintain it, most of the time, I can't, concentrating just takes too much effort, that's all, and I feel drained.

Stupid disorder. Do. Not. Want.

Oh, positive things - saw the grandparents in Hamiltron today. Luke came over with a guy called Tristan last night. Tristan seems nice, have no idea if he likes me or not thought, and I'm a bit hesitant, because I don't want to bite off more than I can chew. I don't really want a hard-out relationship . . . just a human pillow and lots of hugs and touch.

So exhausted. I'm sure I've made that point more than enough times already.
I should have a shower. Should brush my teeth. It's been a couple of days on both counts. As far as I'm concerned, at this point in time, it can wait another couple of days.

I hope Leisa visits us tomorrow. I would like that. I trust Leisa, and in the last couple of weeks, she's moved into that select group of people that I trust enought to let touch me. But I don't know how to communicate that to her. Oh well. I guess I'll figure it out at some point.

Anyway, I'm just going to log on to RuneScape briefly, and then I'm going to bed.
<3
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  1. Old Comment
    Palmolive's Avatar
    If I could give you lot's of hugs, I would. You've had a tough time recently, I think it's understandable you're feeling tired. Do nice things for yourself, okay? You're worth it.
    permalink
    Posted November 11th 2012 at 08:00 PM by Palmolive Palmolive is offline
 
 
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