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And now it's Thursday night.
Posted October 25th 2012 at 09:57 AM by i_like_black
Well, I went to the gym both yesterday and today. Legs day, arms day, if I go tomorrow, it will be abs day. But, tomorrow Leisa invited me to the CLS game thingummy up at the Gardens and I said I'd go (could be fun), my flatmate gets home from respite tomorrow (yay for a short stay), and I want to give blood tomorrow afternoon which involves magicking myself to middlemore hospital before 2:00pm.
I'm a little worried about my state of mind. I was just looking at the objects to the left of my laptop before, and the closest are a key to my Mum's house, a dead CR2032 battery from my scales (it needs replacing), and a relatively clean pencil-sharpener blade.
Furthermore, my probation officer asked many awkward and difficult questions today, and she does not accept silence or shrugs or pointed glares as acceptable responses. I have to use words. I don't want to talk about the things she wants me to talk about. She says, that doesn't matter, I don't get to go until I've given her the information she wants. I don't like it. She also says, I don't get to go to fortnightly until she says so. I told her she takes her job too seriously. She said I wasn't taking things seriously enough. She genuinely made me show her both of my arms, right up to the shoulder. Good thing it's on my inner legs near my ankles at the moment, really. I just don't like it.
And, my keyworker is away this Friday, and has a course next Friday, so instead of just leaving it, I have to see her on Monday. At 9:00am. Clearly she doesn't trust me to be left to my own devices for a couple of weeks. Oh, and I think she also has medication for me.
I'm feeling very irritable and easily frustrated. I take ages to get to sleep, even with the quetiapine, and then I sleep really well for about 6 hours. Which isn't too bad, really. And then I lay in bed being comfortable until it's time to get up. I swing from desperately lazy and not wanting to do anything, to at least a bit motivated. How did I get to the gym today? I looked around my mind for reasons, and my mind spouted out, "just do it, you'll feel better after". Sure, I did feel better after. And exercise I think contributes to me sleeping more solidly.
I just feel quite labile at the moment. All over the place, kind of thing. And irritable. Very irritable. And I'm now back to smoking my regular amount.
It's a very messy way to feel and it makes dealing with people very, very hard, because I come across as even more stubborn, obnoxious, and apathetic to others than normal.
Poop on that.
By the way, the person in general health who doesn't want to clean her teeth, should think about how expensive braces are, and furthermore, how expensive GOOD false teeth are. It's not something to be taken lightly.
I'm a little worried about my state of mind. I was just looking at the objects to the left of my laptop before, and the closest are a key to my Mum's house, a dead CR2032 battery from my scales (it needs replacing), and a relatively clean pencil-sharpener blade.
Furthermore, my probation officer asked many awkward and difficult questions today, and she does not accept silence or shrugs or pointed glares as acceptable responses. I have to use words. I don't want to talk about the things she wants me to talk about. She says, that doesn't matter, I don't get to go until I've given her the information she wants. I don't like it. She also says, I don't get to go to fortnightly until she says so. I told her she takes her job too seriously. She said I wasn't taking things seriously enough. She genuinely made me show her both of my arms, right up to the shoulder. Good thing it's on my inner legs near my ankles at the moment, really. I just don't like it.
And, my keyworker is away this Friday, and has a course next Friday, so instead of just leaving it, I have to see her on Monday. At 9:00am. Clearly she doesn't trust me to be left to my own devices for a couple of weeks. Oh, and I think she also has medication for me.
I'm feeling very irritable and easily frustrated. I take ages to get to sleep, even with the quetiapine, and then I sleep really well for about 6 hours. Which isn't too bad, really. And then I lay in bed being comfortable until it's time to get up. I swing from desperately lazy and not wanting to do anything, to at least a bit motivated. How did I get to the gym today? I looked around my mind for reasons, and my mind spouted out, "just do it, you'll feel better after". Sure, I did feel better after. And exercise I think contributes to me sleeping more solidly.
I just feel quite labile at the moment. All over the place, kind of thing. And irritable. Very irritable. And I'm now back to smoking my regular amount.
It's a very messy way to feel and it makes dealing with people very, very hard, because I come across as even more stubborn, obnoxious, and apathetic to others than normal.
Poop on that.
By the way, the person in general health who doesn't want to clean her teeth, should think about how expensive braces are, and furthermore, how expensive GOOD false teeth are. It's not something to be taken lightly.
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