Monday night.

Well, technically today was Labour Day, but as I have no work to be absent from, it was just another Monday. Except Dad and Lyn invited us to catch the train into town with them, so we did that, and had lunch at Britomart. It was a good way to kill most of the day, far better than the lengths we had to resort to in the rain yesterday.

I washed my sheets - finally - I haven't changed my sheets for a couple of months, but because we only recently got our washing machine functioning correctly, I haven't been able to wash them prior to now. I will be hanging them on the line tomorrow, hopefully the weather will be alright for it.

I haven't showered since Friday evening. I don't feel like showering. To be completely honest, I don't really feel like doing anything. I feel lethargic. Sometimes restless, but mostly lethargic. I've told myself I'm going to go the gym tomorrow, and I probably will, and I'll probably feel better for it. Doesn't change the fact that now I'm home, I don't even want to get out of bed. And face the hurdles that are breakfast, filling time, lunch, filling more time, dinner, tv, and bed. Oh, and take the medication like a good kid. Or whatever.

We are out of tobacco. We are broke, until 7:30pm tomorrow, when Sam's money goes in. I remain broke until Wednesday morning. It feels very far away at the moment. Mayhap I shall simply sleep the morrow away.

I want junk food. I want tailies. I want to curl up and stay in bed until this goes away. I want, I want, I want. I feel like I'm always wanting things and taking from people, I feel like I don't give enough back to society, to all the people who have done so much for me. I feel that ultimately, I'm selfish and self-serving, and I only do things when they will make me happy. I feel that I am very self-centred and lack a sense of altruism.

I love my cat so, so much.
I want to win the lottery or something, and live semi-happily ever after.