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Home again.

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Posted October 19th 2012 at 11:01 PM by i_like_black

I got home yesterday afternoon around 3pm. I'm back on my meds. I slept really well, only woke up twice, and only one nightmare. An improvement on the rest of the week, to be sure.

There's one thing that's bothering me though. My flatmate has been told that in a month, she's being put into supported accomodation. That means that I have to decide whether I want to stay here on my own (and pay more rent, although WINZ will help with that), or get a new flatmate and remain at my current rate of rent. I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do, but at least I have a month in which to decide.

We were told that the decision to put Sam in shared care/supported accomodation was made long before we moved in here, and that the stuff that's happened since has nothing to do with it. And Sam's excellent management of the last couple of weeks doesn't do a thing to change their minds. So I'm a little upset about all this. And just glad that I have a long time to decide on things.

Leisa said I have to let her buy me a drink. So on Wednesday at 1pm, I'm going somewhere with Leisa and I have to have a drink. I feel like I've been somewhat coerced and I'm not at all comfortable with the idea, but I'll just have to get through it I guess.

Whilst I was in respite, Leisa took me to see my property manager, because I needed to see her to discuss my ongoing tenancy and what to do about the now deceased recycling bin. Well, she said we'll continue with the 6 month trial tenancy, which runs out in February. And as for the recycling bin, well I need to contact the council about that. It's on my list of things to do on Tuesday. Not Monday, because this weekend is a long weekend.

So in respite, I spent a few days staring at walls - when I get that low, I get really out of it. I feel . . . distant . . . from everything. And everything is this huge effort, and facing food is practically impossible. I'm better now (not completely, but obviously better than I was because I'm home.). There was some minor self-harm which the staff didn't know about, and a lot of thinking about suicide, but I stayed safe, and didn't end up in hospital, which is good.

Jens saw me whilst I was in respite. He said he feels we haven't utilised the quetiapine to its greatest capability yet, and he would like me to continue on it, and adjust the titration as necessary. He also said that if I show a tendency towards going high, he might add an anti-convulsant, and if I show a tendency towards going low, he may add an anti-depressant. I mentioned about the good time I had on merely citalopram last year, and his comment was "yes, the danger with your condition is that it can lead to manic phases". Which indirectly for me answered the question of whether I get hypomanic or manic. The answer? Turns out I get manic. Good to know. I think.

And next weekend there is a bonus xp weekend on RuneScape so I think I may splurge $10 on membership.

Yup yup.
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