Going to respite soon.

I'm going to respite on Kolmar Road this afternoon. I've never been there before. I don't know what to expect. Is this too little too late? Am I doing the right thing? Will I be able to behave? Will I end up in hospital again? Will it help? Will I feel better? It's a massive pile of I don't know.

Phones are freaking me out. I was good and attended my supervision appointment though. Caleb was nice to me. I like people who are nice to me. Sometimes it makes things a lot harder but I'd still rather be treated nicely.

I still feel like cutting and I still feel like lighting fires, among other things. This isn't a safe way to feel. I also know I feel suicidal and I don't know how I'm going to cope with that being in an unfamiliar place. I guess I just have to wait and see what happens. I bet Leisa hates me, on Monday she asked if I needed extra support this week and I was too low to let her know either way. I'm over feeling like this. I just want to get better and stay better or never feel anything at all.

But yeah, so I'll be off the air waves for the next week or so, and I'll update you all when I get home.