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A little concerned.

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Posted August 28th 2012 at 10:02 AM by i_like_black

(My cat is trying to sit on my laptop. Very helpful, not.)

So I'm a bit worried. I know my flatmate's been self-harming, but it's not that deep and she isn't threatening to kill herself or anything and it is giving her brief respite from the voices, so I don't see the issue.

However her keyworker came over today and said that her doctor said that if she continues to self-harm she'll be put in hospital, and taken back out of independent living. They also think that the two of us are "feeding" off each other. We're not. It's just coincidence. She got out of respite, I spent 3 days in hospital, but we've mostly been really good. The keyworker thinks we're going to keep going in circles like that. We're not.

I'm scared about what that might mean for our flat. We're both happy here, our cats are happy here, and we're more or less comfortable with our living situation. Her voices aren't really something she can do anything about, as she's recently had her diagnosis changed to treatment-resistant schizophrenia. She's really good about taking her meds, and taking PRN if she needs it and remembers.

(My cat is in my bookshelf, behind my books. Not helpful.)

I don't want to move. I'm just settling in here. I don't want to go back to Mum's and sure as shit I don't want to go into shared care or anything like that.

(Now he's knocked some books off. I love him but god he's annoying sometimes.)

And also, my application for Invalid's Benefit lapses this Friday, and unless my bank account is more inflated than usual tomorrow, I'm looking pretty screwed. Leisa's coming over tomorrow though so I can ask her to follow it up. I did all the right things, filled in all the right forms, now it's just the incompetence of WINZ holding me back. It sure would be nice to afford to pay my bills AND have tobacco AND get groceries AND have public transport money. Currently it's, pick two. It's quite hard but I've been trying to not say anything. My groceries have been generally in the $30 range. You try feeding an adult off $30 a week. There's a lot of soup and toast and cereal involved. And then there's extras, like personal hygiene stuff, cat food (thankfully we have heaps), toilet paper and cleaning products . . . I'm just saying that right now, financially, things aren't very easy.

On the bright side, tonight my flatmate shouted me McDonald's and a pack of tailies, in return for the tobacco I lent her over the last couple of days.

I guess every cloud has a silver lining.

Goodnight.
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