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Should be exhausted. But am not.
Posted August 10th 2012 at 06:31 AM by i_like_black
So, my day started early. As in it was still freaking dark, when my neighbour knocks on my door, and keeps knocking until I answer it . . . "got any filters?" . . . NO! And I was ASLEEP! So sick of that neighbour 
And then at 9:00am my alarm went off, like it's supposed to, so I let Cheeky out of the laundry and then went back to bed. 20 minutes later, the phone rings, and it was Sam, checking I'd be home cos she got some leave and wanted to visit. So I dragged my ass into some (clean) daywear, and ate breakfast, and had a smoke, then Sam came over. She said they're keeping her in respite until at least Monday, I feel really stink for her because Tuesday's her birthday and she's actually been feeling well these last couple of days.
And then I went to catch the bus to my appointment with my keyworker. Half an hour later, and no bus in sight. At a bus stop where there's usually a bus every 5 - 10 minutes in the middle of the day. And a lady came up to me and told me that the bus drivers had a stop-work meeting today (God only knows what for, they already get $20 per hour just for driving buses) and weren't expected to be operational again until 4:30pm. So I hoofed it up the road on foot. One hour and seven minutes of walking in the blazing sunshine later, I finally got to Lambie drive. The one fine day we had this week - a perfect day, letting us know that spring will eventually arrive - and it happens to be the day where I have to go for mildly epic walkies. My face is sunburned. The middle of freaking winter, and I have sunburn. Just my luck.
The appointment itself went okay though, I've been feeling a lot better this week than I did last week which obviously showed because I didn't get asked any niggly questions - which is just as well because I've been self-harming and have no desire to show the mental health services.
Then I walked back up to Manukau, had lunch at Burger King, and caught a Howick & Eastern bus back to Southmall. Walked home, all the way up Jenny Craig, had a smoke, and now I'm blogging.
According to my phone I've done around 12,000 steps today. A fair bit I guess, and I suppose I should be more tired than I am, but I'm actually feeling pretty good. Which is a sure sign that I'll have trouble sleeping tonight.
I've been having trouble getting off to sleep for a week or so now, and I forgot to mention it to my keyworker. Oops. There's just too much other stuff attempting to go through my head at the moment so it got neglected. I swear we spent half an hour just with me talking about music and saxophone. Oh well.
My legs feel nice and used. I only wish I wasn't sunburned, then I'd be sorted. I'm actually warm enough that I'm dressed in just a t-shirt and shorts, which is weird, cos yesterday was absolutely freezing and although I was wearing layers and layers of clothes I still shivered. Stupid Auckland weather, never heard of consistency.
Oh yeah, Tongariro erupted either late last week or early this week, don't remember which. Apparently the damage from the eruption was nowhere near as bad as it could have been, but still, I'm glad to be an Aucklander. No earthquakes, and all the volcanoes in Auckland are dormant and have been for a very long time. I decided that the reason the rest of the country hates Aucklanders (well, the majority of them, anyway) is because we're the spot that has the least natural disasters. Win.
And I ran out of tobacco today, so it's going to be an interesting 3 or 4 days of cravings. I don't get any money until Wednesday, and I didn't have enough money this week to both eat AND smoke - so I chose food. A wise decision, I think. But the cravings are going to be interesting.
Oh yeah, I went up to WINZ yesterday (yesterday must have been Thursday, it feels like a really long time ago though) and applied to test my eligibility for Invalid's Benefit - except this time, I had both a medical certificate and a disability certificate filled out by my psychiatrist, as a result of Leisa being involved. She's cool. The lady I got at WINZ - I was lucky and got a nice lady - just asked me to fill out a consent to release information form so that the WINZ people can talk to my doctor and establish whether or not they'll put me on Invalid's. So hopefully Jens says the right stuff and I can change benefits, because it would be really nice to have a little bit extra cash instead of being strapped for cash all the time.
Leisa said to me that it's not about handing me things on a silver platter (although that's sort of what it feels like at times), but it's about getting me everything that I qualify for. Because apparently, through my disability, she can get WINZ to pay the connection fee for the phone and the internet. I really hope that's true, because the money I put aside for it has sort of mostly been spent . . . oops. Good planning, Jess.
Anywho bai.
And then at 9:00am my alarm went off, like it's supposed to, so I let Cheeky out of the laundry and then went back to bed. 20 minutes later, the phone rings, and it was Sam, checking I'd be home cos she got some leave and wanted to visit. So I dragged my ass into some (clean) daywear, and ate breakfast, and had a smoke, then Sam came over. She said they're keeping her in respite until at least Monday, I feel really stink for her because Tuesday's her birthday and she's actually been feeling well these last couple of days.
And then I went to catch the bus to my appointment with my keyworker. Half an hour later, and no bus in sight. At a bus stop where there's usually a bus every 5 - 10 minutes in the middle of the day. And a lady came up to me and told me that the bus drivers had a stop-work meeting today (God only knows what for, they already get $20 per hour just for driving buses) and weren't expected to be operational again until 4:30pm. So I hoofed it up the road on foot. One hour and seven minutes of walking in the blazing sunshine later, I finally got to Lambie drive. The one fine day we had this week - a perfect day, letting us know that spring will eventually arrive - and it happens to be the day where I have to go for mildly epic walkies. My face is sunburned. The middle of freaking winter, and I have sunburn. Just my luck.
The appointment itself went okay though, I've been feeling a lot better this week than I did last week which obviously showed because I didn't get asked any niggly questions - which is just as well because I've been self-harming and have no desire to show the mental health services.
Then I walked back up to Manukau, had lunch at Burger King, and caught a Howick & Eastern bus back to Southmall. Walked home, all the way up Jenny Craig, had a smoke, and now I'm blogging.
According to my phone I've done around 12,000 steps today. A fair bit I guess, and I suppose I should be more tired than I am, but I'm actually feeling pretty good. Which is a sure sign that I'll have trouble sleeping tonight.
I've been having trouble getting off to sleep for a week or so now, and I forgot to mention it to my keyworker. Oops. There's just too much other stuff attempting to go through my head at the moment so it got neglected. I swear we spent half an hour just with me talking about music and saxophone. Oh well.
My legs feel nice and used. I only wish I wasn't sunburned, then I'd be sorted. I'm actually warm enough that I'm dressed in just a t-shirt and shorts, which is weird, cos yesterday was absolutely freezing and although I was wearing layers and layers of clothes I still shivered. Stupid Auckland weather, never heard of consistency.
Oh yeah, Tongariro erupted either late last week or early this week, don't remember which. Apparently the damage from the eruption was nowhere near as bad as it could have been, but still, I'm glad to be an Aucklander. No earthquakes, and all the volcanoes in Auckland are dormant and have been for a very long time. I decided that the reason the rest of the country hates Aucklanders (well, the majority of them, anyway) is because we're the spot that has the least natural disasters. Win.
And I ran out of tobacco today, so it's going to be an interesting 3 or 4 days of cravings. I don't get any money until Wednesday, and I didn't have enough money this week to both eat AND smoke - so I chose food. A wise decision, I think. But the cravings are going to be interesting.
Oh yeah, I went up to WINZ yesterday (yesterday must have been Thursday, it feels like a really long time ago though) and applied to test my eligibility for Invalid's Benefit - except this time, I had both a medical certificate and a disability certificate filled out by my psychiatrist, as a result of Leisa being involved. She's cool. The lady I got at WINZ - I was lucky and got a nice lady - just asked me to fill out a consent to release information form so that the WINZ people can talk to my doctor and establish whether or not they'll put me on Invalid's. So hopefully Jens says the right stuff and I can change benefits, because it would be really nice to have a little bit extra cash instead of being strapped for cash all the time.
Leisa said to me that it's not about handing me things on a silver platter (although that's sort of what it feels like at times), but it's about getting me everything that I qualify for. Because apparently, through my disability, she can get WINZ to pay the connection fee for the phone and the internet. I really hope that's true, because the money I put aside for it has sort of mostly been spent . . . oops. Good planning, Jess.
Anywho bai.
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