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Days. Daze? Days.

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Posted July 19th 2012 at 03:05 AM by i_like_black

So I haven't been to community work for about a month. I'm probably going to get a warning for breach sometime soon, but I'm waiting until I've moved to Manurewa (moving next Tuesday) then I'm going to organise with Manurewa probation to do it pretty much full-time and get it out of the way.

I reported in for supervision, it's all good, they guy has changed me to fortnightly reportings - yay, a vote of confidence from somewhere at least.

He asked all the usual questions. Self-harm, safety, drugs, alcohol, work, and so forth. Didn't tell him about the self-harm because it occurred whilst I was in hospital and as such is over a week old, told him I was safe (I am at the moment), didn't mention any drugs because it's been a couple of months, and said "no" to alcohol because I pretty much never drink - I think most alcohol tastes yuck. Probably because my first experience of alcohol was drinking methylated spirits as a teenager . . .

Told him I resigned from work, he asked if I'm looking for more, I said no, he said if I change my mind they have jobs, I told him I have a work-broker through mental health.

I went into gym yesterday. Had a chat with Rowena. She seems ok with me, not angry or anything, I suppose because this time I stayed in contact whilst I was in hospital. I don't think I've formally resigned and I don't know if she's expecting me back. A little confused but it should resolve in the not-too-distant future.

I just realised I have an appointment with my keyworker tomorrow and I spent my money on food today. Fudgesticks. Hopefully my tax money gets deposited over night, if not then I'm mildly screwed.

Leisa the CLS lady is coming with me to my appointment at WINZ on Monday to make sure everything is sorted for the move. I'm both excited and apprehensive, but leaning more towards the excited side. Between the two of us, me and Sam have everything we need, and we get along well, so we should flat well together. I think I've already said that here but just to reiterate the point.

My wrist is really quite sore today. I should take a painkiller (or 2) but I don't want to go inside yet because I want my family to think that I went to community work today - I'm getting enough shit from them already without adding that too.

I discovered that I stress out about mornings. Not mornings specifically, but mornings where I need to get up at a certain time or be somewhere by a certain time. And when I stress out, I panic, and when I panic, I freeze, and pretty much fail to function. Not a good thing, and one of the main reasons I want to get community work out of the way QUICKLY once I move.

Oh well, hope you are all well.
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