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Posted June 19th 2012 at 09:59 AM by i_like_black

I'm not as low as I was yesterday. And I'm definitely not high. And I think I'm lower than "normal". So I guess - low. Just not as severely today. Which leads me to believe that the severity yesterday was reactive. Good to know.

I ate a whole pizza last night. I should feel bad about that, and I think under regular circumstances, I would . . . but I don't. I just . . . don't, which is kind of confusing. I'll probably feel totally shit when I weigh myself, but currently, meh. I feel far, far worse about eating an entire bag of Starburst. That wasn't even intentional, I just kept eating them because they were right next to me, not because I was hungry, and they didn't even taste particularly good. In fact after eating the bag I felt really quite ill. If I knew how to make myself vomit it wouldn't be an issue, I could eat all that shit, and enjoy it, and then vomit it out so I don't absorb any of the nutrients from it. And that would be great. I might even lose weight. I might wiki how to vomit after I've finished writing this.

I went up to Community Probation today. For supervision I have to provide evidence of where I live, so somebody's going to come around and check on Friday, and I have to go see them whenever they ask me to, which is apparently usually once a week. And the guy I talked to today said that seeing as I'm working with mental health already he would assume that already covers "personal skills counselling", which in his opinion is very, very broad.

They asked all the usual questions about self-harm, suicide attempts, if I've ever been a risk to others or to myself . . . the usual list of questions that arresting officers ask. Yay. Got through it with no major incident.

Community work lady was really friendly. Apparently by turning up and doing my induction, I've already served 2 hours of it, so it's down to 78. And if I work well throughout the course of it, they'll subtract another 10% off the initial sentence, meaning I'm probably only going to end up doing 70 hours of the 80 I was sentenced to. Fine by me.

I will be working Thursdays 8am - 4pm. It's mostly gardening by the sounds of things, with some other random shit thrown in for good measure. So now when you think to yourself, who maintains local gardens and trees etcetera? Answer yourself . . . criminals do. So I should be done with the community work sentence in 9 or 10 weeks. It's the supervision that's going to be a pain. A whole year! *angry face*

I want to buy more sweet chilli and sour cream chips. They are SO. AMAZING. Like, literally mouth-watering. I can put one in my mouth and immediately I salivate. They're so good. So very good, that they're currently my favourite food.

Wednesday tomorrow. I might buy a Big Wednesday ticket, because it jackpotted again, and like I've said to my Mum time and time again, you can't win if you're not in.
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