Coming across as positive.

It's actually a genuine issue for me. I generally come across as positive and optimistic. I mean, not that that's a bad thing, but it does make it very difficult to communicate depression, or to even admit to depression.

I'm not depressed yet - I can feel it, waiting around the corner, slinking in the shadows, biding its time, until I am weak and it can get me all at once. I know it's going to happen. It's half-past May and nearly June. I know when to expect it.

I just wanted to put it out there that I genuinely have trouble communicating negative moods. I can be suicidal but not admit to it, not even hint at even feeling low. It's part of what makes me hard to treat - I find it hard to communicate. Not normal stuff, I'm fine with everyday social interactions. I just happen to find telling people that I'm not okay particularly difficult. Especially considering what the consequences of such have been lately. (Respite, hospital, hospital, respite, respite, hospital . . . *sigh*.)

And the only other thing is that, next time I do get really badly depressed, I know this: I have a foolproof plan.