Or in a fruitier phrase, the sh*t has hit the fan.

So, in June I lost my grandfather around the same time as I was re-homing my dog. My dog had bit another dog (she was just about to go on heat and had never previously shown any signs of aggression), but the lady I gave her to said she was clearly not an aggressive dog and after all was still a puppy.

I found out today through the new owner that the council decided to prosecute her, and as a result, she will be destroyed....

So, I have ordinary days now. Let me take you through today.

I got up, volunteered at the local food bank, went to visit some family, ate dinner then went to NA.

That's literally all I did today.

On ordinary days I still have some cravings. Sometimes I miss self harm. Sometimes I miss drugs. But missing these things doesn't mean I'm going to go back to doing them, and seeing how much I've grown without them makes it easier to get to the moment where I...

It's just after 9:00P.M. and I just finished reading my "most recent" blog post.

Oh boy I was in a terrible way back then.
For those who are interested, I did end up spending a holiday weekend in prison at one point in 2016. I was very unwell at the time and my offending had climaxed. I won't go into it here.

Then, around the middle of 2016, I decided it was time to move out of the area. The very day I decided this, there was an affordable unit in a...

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Am I depressed? Don't know.
So much that I don't know.
Got my wishes. Sleeping lots, and the weather's been great for this because it's been raining off and on a fair bit for the last few days - I think it started raining just after I got home from hospital.

I had to spend most of the night for medical reasons - they said my heart was working too hard because of the speed it was going at. I had hourly ECGs for 6 hours or something. It was a rough night, I remember...

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I've had like, three sleeps today already and I am not done with sleep yet. And every time I sleep, I fill the gaps between the things I want to be doing without getting bored. Because my attention span is very short and because I get tired really fast. Cognitive fatigue. It's one of my early warning signs but I am sticking to sleeping to fix it because ew meds.

I've actually had a pretty good couple of days. Terrified about the new year but oh well. Can't make time move faster.

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So I just want to have a brief spazz. Because earlier this evening I was walking home balancing a pizza on my hip when I happened across this cute lady. I was vaguely enjoying her smile when I got a "Hi Jess!"

Turns out I know her from the custody unit
My brain kinda froze though, I didn't even think to ask for her name.

And had I not been carrying a pizza I'm pretty sure I would have got a hug.

Sigh. Hopefully our paths shall cross...