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Old

Happy Halloween

Posted November 1st 2011 at 01:37 AM by Hopeyyy

Happy Halloween everyone.

Haven't wrote in my blog in a while. Feel bad for it. Like my whole life has come to a pause.
There is so much to write now. So many things, so many people, so many details, just so much stuff to catch up on. *sigh* I do not know what to do with it all.
The boy issues.
The friend issues.
The rumor issues.
The family issues.
The self-esteem issues.
The cutting issues.
The depression issues.
Who...
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LoveSomeBodyToday
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Old

Half

Posted October 25th 2011 at 02:52 PM by Hopeyyy

Things are slowly getting better.
I haven't cut since Thursaday.
Alan is talking to me again.
My sister Steph is talking to me again.
The play we're doing is in two weeks.
Th CASHEE is a day before.
I have friends.
I have eniemes.
I have good grades. Makeing A's.
But something is still wrong.
No, it is not because I do not have a boyfriend or romantic love.
I think it is because I miss them.
I miss my Dad.
...
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LoveSomeBodyToday
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Old

There's something wrong with me.

Posted October 22nd 2011 at 02:50 AM by Hopeyyy

Lately, I can't be happy.I just can't. I can usually always smile, be strong. But this time it truly is different. I can't even put on a fake smile anymore. I lost whatever strength I had. It is gone. Like my heart. It has gone.

It has said to me, "Sorry, Hope, your foolish mind and actions keep hurting. I'm leaving. I can't take the pain anymore. Bye."

Even my heart left me. Isn't that something? There has got to be something wrong with me.
All I can...
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LoveSomeBodyToday
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Old

Noone=_____

Posted October 19th 2011 at 06:30 AM by Hopeyyy

Today was just horrible.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.
I'll never be pretty enough.
Skinny enough.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.


With everything going on I became overwhelmed. I stopped eating, gor 2 weeks now, with little food, just for people to see..I binge it mostly. I cut deeper into my thighs. Not enough blood, though. So, I cut my stomach. I was so close...
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Old

HELP

Posted October 18th 2011 at 03:00 AM by Hopeyyy

I AM ON THE VERGE OF SUCIDE HELP
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LoveSomeBodyToday
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Old

Noone wants to hear.

Posted October 15th 2011 at 05:31 PM by Hopeyyy

Where is the hope that's in my name??
Did it run away? Run away so far, that it didn't even have to hide in order for itself not to be found?

I need to figure this out. Things are changing. I need to find out who I am. Where I am headed. What my goal is. It is hard to feel lost. But I am trying. Trying so hard.

My grades fell at the last minute. I had all As. Now there all Cs. I have a D in math. Because I failed one quiz. Just one. I m such a failure. ...
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Old

Kisses On Sunset

Posted October 14th 2011 at 03:08 PM by Hopeyyy

Yesterday, was such a great day with my Batman.
Haha, I call him Batman, and he calls me catwoman. Haha! After our Drama practice, we sat outside and the sun was at the perfect angle, setting and shining on us. I put my head in his shoulder & we made a heart with our hands. And we kissed, and contiued kissing. (No tongue you dirty minds! )

And then today I'll see him afterschool, just for a few minutes

And and and and thhheenn...
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Old

I'm excited.

Posted October 13th 2011 at 04:24 AM by Hopeyyy

I am SO excited.
Today, Nolan said he would kiss me tomorrow, alone.
I can't wait. It's goung to be special.


He also kissed my hand..a guy has never done that.
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Old

It does get better.

Posted October 12th 2011 at 06:52 AM by Hopeyyy

So, saw Nolan in Drama today.
We sat in the back seats of our auditorium (stage) place, by ourselves.
He said he knew about me not eating. So, I told him I ate today, but I also said I'd binge it.
He said he knew I wrote goodbye letters to everyone. So, I told him, I used to cut.
He started tearing up. Yepp, I'm positive tears came out of his eyes. It made me sick to my stomach. He hasn't cried since April, he isn't a very emotional man. He explained to me that everyone...
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Old

Another Secert

Posted October 10th 2011 at 02:55 AM by Hopeyyy

I saw Nolan today.

I tried to commit suicide yesterday. My bestfriend Blake saved me.
So, today Blake demanded I got his house. My other friend Zach, had invited me to go to Generals (food place), and I refused, I told him, and Blake, that if I go there and see Nolan there, I will cry. I will break down.

Blake didn't listen.

I got to Blake's house, and we went Generals. I couldn't go any where else, and I love Blake, so I went.
I saw...
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