Petty Girl

I can't take this.
I have been single. And sure,now, nothing is wrong.
That's what it should be anyway...
But I want a guy.
I know, I'm waiting.
Waiting for it to "just happen"
But I'm afraid.
I am absolutely terrified....
That I am going to end up alone.
I wish when I had Bryan I had such knowledge I have now..
Then Bryan and I could have been perfect.
But that is all over now.
Alex is over.
Nolan is over.
Eddie is over.
Alan is over.
Nobody else to love this petty girl.
Guess I'm pretty stupid...
You know, besides the pretty part.
I go out of my way to look gorgous each and every day.
Do guys look at me? Not even a glance.
They make me feel fat. F. A. T. FAT. So, so fat!
Even though I can see my bones.
I try and be lady like.
It does not work.
I am a failure at this- as I am to everything.
Such a petty girl am I to have hopes and dreams for love and succes.