Noone=_____

Today was just horrible.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.
I'll never be pretty enough.
Skinny enough.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.
Nolan hates me.


With everything going on I became overwhelmed. I stopped eating, gor 2 weeks now, with little food, just for people to see..I binge it mostly. I cut deeper into my thighs. Not enough blood, though. So, I cut my stomach. I was so close to edge. Almost slipped. Then Stephanie messaged me. It was a MIRACLE I haven't spoken to her since I came back to Shafter. I missed her. I love her.

So, that helped.
For a couple minutes.
Then.
Nolan hates me.
Noone believes me, even with witness & a confession.
I'm a failure.
I can't amount to anything.
I'm so fat.
I am so ugly.
I'm stupid.
I'm dumb.
Mother is never going to chamge.
Father is fake.
Real father, only met twice.
Family hates me.
I can:t be happy.


More cuts. More scars. More blood. I can't takethis.

But I'll smile, because you asked me to,_________.