It does get better.

So, saw Nolan in Drama today.
We sat in the back seats of our auditorium (stage) place, by ourselves.
He said he knew about me not eating. So, I told him I ate today, but I also said I'd binge it.
He said he knew I wrote goodbye letters to everyone. So, I told him, I used to cut.
He started tearing up. Yepp, I'm positive tears came out of his eyes. It made me sick to my stomach. He hasn't cried since April, he isn't a very emotional man. He explained to me that everyone in Drama would miss me. That he would miss me. I have no idea how I didn't cry in front of him, oh, wait, yes I do. Because every single last time I cried in front of a man, I got hit. Continuesly. Of course, I knew Nolan would never do hat to me. Call instict, if you must, but that was natural reaction.
Somehow, we got to the point wherehe asked me what I wanted. I tried looking away. But he kept telling me to look at him. (He has the most gorgous eyes, its impossible not to look at them!xD). I looked at him, kinda. Said It didn't matter what I wanted, it can't happen." He said, "Make it happen." I said that I wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but thats not what he wanted. He said, "I never said that." I got stupid butterflies in my stomach at this point, but I tried pushing them down, because I just had no hope left anymore.
We also got to he point where I thought I was his rebound. He said I wasn't. Basicly, Nolan and I are together now. Why!? Because he fell for my smile. He likes my smile. Andif I hadn't have swallowed my tears, and walked into Drama with one of my best friends, Shay, all happy and giggly, Nolan probably, wouldn't have even talked to me. I'm happy now. I mean I was before, we started being together, but I'm even more happy, because I know I can trust this guy.
It does get better I know, you go through this pain, hurt, anger and depression, and you'll think you'll never get out of it. And when people tell you it gets better you find it SO hard to believe them, because you're stuck and perhas lost in this one place...Please, do what I did. Swallow your tears, your pain, your hurt, your anger, your depression. Hold on to every little peice of hope you have Someone WILL fall for your smile. It does get better.

Just be happy.
And be goofy
And be silly
And be you!