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Posted October 9th 2011 at 09:22 PM by Evanesco

I just want it all to stop. I want to over dose. But I'm scared. Not of dying. But of dying slowly. And then there's part of me that just wants to get ill and injured. A cry for help. But in my head I don't want people to know it was on purpose. Fake an accident or something. Then I can get off school and not have to worry about anything. And if I die then it'll be fine.

I'm collecting painkillers again. I don't know whether I'll take them. I'm scared but I want this to be over. But what I want most is to be happy, not to be dead. I just know I'd rather be dead than feeling like this. I don't know what to do.

I took four last time and nothing happened. Perhaps I'll up it to five or six. I doubt that would help either. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do anymore.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Palmolive's Avatar
    Please, please look after yourself. I worry about you. You don't deserve to go through the pain you put yourself through, you ARE worth so much more.
    permalink
    Posted October 9th 2011 at 09:57 PM by Palmolive Palmolive is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Coffee.'s Avatar
    Please throw away those pills Hester. I care about you so much, we want you here. You do not deserve to put yourself through this pain. Flush them. Get rid of them. You cannot have them there for your abuse. I care. I'm here if you need to talk, always.
    permalink
    Posted October 9th 2011 at 10:03 PM by Coffee. Coffee. is offline
  3. Old Comment
    bailatyvm's Avatar
    Please, pleeeease throw away the pills /: Please. you are so much BETTER than this. you deserve to LIVE.
    permalink
    Posted October 10th 2011 at 02:08 AM by bailatyvm bailatyvm is offline
  4. Old Comment
    blumemusik♫'s Avatar
    Please throw them away Hester. You don't need this, we're here for you! Hold on lovely <3
    permalink
    Posted October 24th 2011 at 10:07 PM by blumemusik♫ blumemusik♫ is offline
 
 
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