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Posted September 19th 2011 at 08:45 PM by Evanesco
I'm getting that urge to overdose. To just take stuff and not care about the consequences. I wish I had something for sleep. I have cocodamol. I don't think I want to die. But I want all this to stop. How many do I take? I only have two in my room. That's the required dosage, not an overdose. Paracetemol? Why doesn't any one in my family take anything worth overdosing on? I want this to stop. But I don't think I want to die. Not today. I did yesterday. I'm not so sure now. I don't know what to do. Cut? I don't think I have the energy. Find the blades, find the tissue, press it deep enough to mean anything. I guess I could eat. But then I'd feel worse tomorrow. Binge today and I'll feel like hell tomorrow. Plan to starve tomorrow? It's hard to plan. It just happens. I've had a crappy day today. And I had a crappy day yesterday. And I'm a rubbish staff member. If I don't get a reply to the PM about taking leave soon then I guess I'll just resign. I can't handle this. Why can't anyone help me? Why am I in such a stupid position? Why am I not underweight yet? Why doesn't it matter yet? Where are the blades? Are they in the drawer? Do I have the energy to get them? Do I have the willpower not to? Why can't I do anything right? Why do I not tick any boxes? Why can't anyone help me?
Total Comments 2
Comments
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I really do hope that you are okay. I'm always here for you if you need any one xxxPosted September 19th 2011 at 09:00 PM by Palmolive
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I hope you're okay. I understand things are tough but you can get through this. xx
I'm here if you need anyone to talk to. <3Posted September 19th 2011 at 10:27 PM by Stargazed.
