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Confused ramble. Possible ED trig.
Posted August 12th 2011 at 10:10 AM by Evanesco
I thought I'd gained weight over my holiday, but actually I've lost it. I don't understand, because I ate so much. I mean, I didn't hit the guide line, but I ate seriously loads more than I normally do, and I still lost a decent amount. I don't understand. Does that mean to maintain I'll have to eat even more? Because I was struggling enough as it was to eat that amount. I mean, when I binge I can go forever, but when I'm eating normally, well I can't really eat normally. I always restrict in some way.
Agh, I don't know. I want to keep losing, but I'm practically on the weight my boyfriend wants me to stay at. I don't know what to do. If I tell him I've hit it, he'll make me eat more, but I don't want to lie. But I guess even if he makes me eat more it won't be the amount I was eating on holiday so I still shouldn't maintain, I should lose.
But that's crazy because that would mean I'll just keep losing. I'm still healthy at the moment, but at the rate I'm going I'll be underweight in less than half a year. And that's going by the rate I lost on holiday.
I don't know what to do. I'm confused. Sometimes I want to eat normally. I mean I know I can. But most of the time I don't want to eat at all, and other times I want to eat everything.
Doesn't help my mum wants me to eat less because she thinks I was putting on weight by eating normally, when actually she didn't know I binged every day. So if I don't binge I should be able to maintain by eating normally. But she doesn't see that and I can't tell her I used to binge.
I am so confused. Sorry about this ramble.
Agh, I don't know. I want to keep losing, but I'm practically on the weight my boyfriend wants me to stay at. I don't know what to do. If I tell him I've hit it, he'll make me eat more, but I don't want to lie. But I guess even if he makes me eat more it won't be the amount I was eating on holiday so I still shouldn't maintain, I should lose.
But that's crazy because that would mean I'll just keep losing. I'm still healthy at the moment, but at the rate I'm going I'll be underweight in less than half a year. And that's going by the rate I lost on holiday.
I don't know what to do. I'm confused. Sometimes I want to eat normally. I mean I know I can. But most of the time I don't want to eat at all, and other times I want to eat everything.
Doesn't help my mum wants me to eat less because she thinks I was putting on weight by eating normally, when actually she didn't know I binged every day. So if I don't binge I should be able to maintain by eating normally. But she doesn't see that and I can't tell her I used to binge.
I am so confused. Sorry about this ramble.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Your boyfriend can't ask you to be a certain weight, that is your decision. However, he does want you to be healthy, and does care about you. Take his needs into consideration.
And it may just be best to tell your mother you had struggled with binging sometime. It may help you recover, so you can eat normally again without your mother asking you to eat less, and she may be able to help you recover by talking to you.
Stay strong!
Posted August 12th 2011 at 10:44 AM by Coffee.
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Thanks. <3
But my mother would never listen to me. Believe me, I've tried talking to her about things.
My boyfriend is the person I can really confide in, I was talking to him today and he's helping me out. I want to kill this before it becomes serious.
xPosted August 12th 2011 at 10:37 PM by Evanesco
