Trig? Suicide, SH, ED possibly.

Why won't it all just stop? Why do I have to feel so trapped and empty? Why can't someone help me? Why do I keep breaking down? Why am I sometimes fine and then sometimes rock bottom? Why do I want to kill myself? Do I have anything to live for? Will it always be like this? I want to cry again. I think I'm going to cry again. But I've cried so much today the tears won't come. I'm scared for tomorrow. I don't want to go out with that group. I'm scared they'll all hate me. I'm scared they won't talk to me. I don't want to go to the fair because there'll be food that I won't want to eat there. I don't want to eat anything. I wish I could just fade away. I want to cut so badly. I want to hurt. I want to feel something other than this numb, dull ache in my chest. I want my head to stop aching. I want to be happy again. I was happy the other day. How come the happy moods are so much shorter than the depressed ones? And why can't anyone help me? I've tried helping myself but it doesn't work. It doesn't work.