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I haven't been on in a while. I won't come up with some pathetic excuse, I just haven't been on.

I've had enough. I've had enough of hiding scars. I haven't worn anything short sleeved since august. Lack of sleep. Lack of food. Too much caffeine just so I can function. Screwed up mock exams. Intrusive suicidal thoughts. I've just had enough of everything. I. I. I.

School annoys me. I don't get angry. Its just not me. Ever. But this one teacher came up in conversation the other day. I was getting so angry I began to hyperventilate, though, again, I turned it into a joke, like everything I do. She is just so self-obsessed. She is the sort of person that only got on with the "popular kids" in my class, and ostracised the rest of us.

Trying not to smell of smoke coming in. I just hate myself even more for it, quite the acheivement, but oh well. I guess all I need is someone to talk to. Someone I know, someone tangible. But there is no ones I'd tell. How would that conversation go? "Well, I self-harm, constantly think of suicide, try not to eat, and generally loath myself with a passion." Erm, no thanks. The people I talk to at school, they are so nice to me, but they all think that self harm is attention seeking. *Sigh*