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Life Without A Mother
Posted May 17th 2013 at 09:45 PM by cutting_out_lifes_stress
Tags broken home, death in family, death of mother, foster child, inattentive parents, motherless, unattentive parents
If you haven't read my past posts, you may not know about my mother situation. Actually, none of you know it fully anyways, so I'll just begin new.
I was taken from my mother when I was 9. My father caught her cheating and doing drugs. My relationship with her was always...iffy. Back then, it seemed like one day she would love us, and the next day she didn't seem to. She had issues. Anyhow, she died in 2000 (I think) from Aplastic Anemia. My father remarried in 1998. My new step-mother was a smart woman, but treated my brother and I as if we were hers. I honestly couldn't stand her. She even beat me with a belt after 2 months of her being with my father. I ran away for a week, and then got grounded when I returned home. It wasn't until her and my father split up (don't remember what year), that her and I became closer.
She would come over just for the hell of it, to see my kids (I had 2 at the time...I'll get to that some other time). My own father didn't just show up for no reason. I loved this woman. Truly loved her as if she was my own mother. She passed away in 2010. She was self medicating, and overdosed while taking a bath one night. That's 2 actual mothers that I have lost in my life. It wasn't just those mothers I lost though. I had friend's mothers that would call me "son". Two to be exact.
One was a girlfriend's mother. I loved her and she did whatever she could to help me and listened to whatever I had to say. I guess I was over there too often and her husband didn't like it. Her husband told her to make me leave and never come back; so she did. I was heart broken. The worst part is that she didn't even tell me why I had to leave. She just said, "You need to go home..." I'd ask, "Why do I need to leave? What did I do?" She would reply, "You just need to leave." It wasn't until years later I found her on facebook and she told me why.
The other was a long friend of mine. She actually lived next door to my father and step-mother. She had kids who my brother and I would hang out with. She became special to me. She called me one of her own as well. I loved her too, and I truly believed that she loved me. We kept in touch over the years, even after I moved away from my father's place, after high school. She would come over to see my kids, just as a mother/parent should. It was one day that I was talking to her on the phone, and we were saying "goodbye" (as in hanging up). I told her that I loved her, and she told me the same back. Well, her husband heard her say, "Love you too" and immediately thought she was cheating on him with me. She ended up calling me back and told me that she couldn't talk to me anymore.
So in all, I have lost 4 "mothers" in my life. I mean, one is enough, but after 4....it just kinda makes you think. It made me think about the whole "mother" situation, deeply. Did I even need a mother? I eventually came to the conclusion that, no....I didn't. I decided to be strong on my own, and figure out the problems of life by myself. Dad certainly wasn't going to help me with all that. He just wasn't one that liked talking about things. The moral of this story is this: If you are without parents, or without anyone....stay strong! Tell yourself that you can do anything, because you can!
I was taken from my mother when I was 9. My father caught her cheating and doing drugs. My relationship with her was always...iffy. Back then, it seemed like one day she would love us, and the next day she didn't seem to. She had issues. Anyhow, she died in 2000 (I think) from Aplastic Anemia. My father remarried in 1998. My new step-mother was a smart woman, but treated my brother and I as if we were hers. I honestly couldn't stand her. She even beat me with a belt after 2 months of her being with my father. I ran away for a week, and then got grounded when I returned home. It wasn't until her and my father split up (don't remember what year), that her and I became closer.
She would come over just for the hell of it, to see my kids (I had 2 at the time...I'll get to that some other time). My own father didn't just show up for no reason. I loved this woman. Truly loved her as if she was my own mother. She passed away in 2010. She was self medicating, and overdosed while taking a bath one night. That's 2 actual mothers that I have lost in my life. It wasn't just those mothers I lost though. I had friend's mothers that would call me "son". Two to be exact.
One was a girlfriend's mother. I loved her and she did whatever she could to help me and listened to whatever I had to say. I guess I was over there too often and her husband didn't like it. Her husband told her to make me leave and never come back; so she did. I was heart broken. The worst part is that she didn't even tell me why I had to leave. She just said, "You need to go home..." I'd ask, "Why do I need to leave? What did I do?" She would reply, "You just need to leave." It wasn't until years later I found her on facebook and she told me why.
The other was a long friend of mine. She actually lived next door to my father and step-mother. She had kids who my brother and I would hang out with. She became special to me. She called me one of her own as well. I loved her too, and I truly believed that she loved me. We kept in touch over the years, even after I moved away from my father's place, after high school. She would come over to see my kids, just as a mother/parent should. It was one day that I was talking to her on the phone, and we were saying "goodbye" (as in hanging up). I told her that I loved her, and she told me the same back. Well, her husband heard her say, "Love you too" and immediately thought she was cheating on him with me. She ended up calling me back and told me that she couldn't talk to me anymore.
So in all, I have lost 4 "mothers" in my life. I mean, one is enough, but after 4....it just kinda makes you think. It made me think about the whole "mother" situation, deeply. Did I even need a mother? I eventually came to the conclusion that, no....I didn't. I decided to be strong on my own, and figure out the problems of life by myself. Dad certainly wasn't going to help me with all that. He just wasn't one that liked talking about things. The moral of this story is this: If you are without parents, or without anyone....stay strong! Tell yourself that you can do anything, because you can!
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