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Reminiscing of SM (My High School Crush)

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Posted October 25th 2017 at 08:09 AM by CrusadingAvenger

This poem differs from all the others I've been writing. This one I don't really include a message to be learned from, but more like my own experience of how my high school crush never came to be, and I'm sure some can relate to this. This is written in the eyes of how I saw this experience back in high school.

I wonder how things would be different
If maybe I just told her
How I felt about her
All those years ago.

In the beginning
When I had met Stephanie,
During the first day of high school,
I was under the impression
That she had an interest in me.

The signs were there,
And I really did like her a lot.

She was indeed the girl
That I spent more time with
Than the one I actually
Wanted to go and pursue.

But back then,
I had my eyes
Set on another girl,
And choosing which one to pursue,
And which one to just leave be
Was quite challenging for me.

I chose the wrong girl.

I should've chosen Stephanie...

I realized this as time went on.

Feelings can grow,
But they can also fade away too.

I remember back in high school,
I really did almost everything
To win her back and get her
To take an interest in me
After just leaving her alone
All of a sudden after I made
The wrong assumption
That she had interests
Set on another guy,
And rather spend time
With her little group of girlfriends instead.

I nearly did this almost all
Four years of high school.

I really regretted making
Such an assumption.

I kept dreaming about her,
And hoping that one day,
She would be my girlfriend.

I thought when Junior year came,
And I saw that she was happy
That I worked up the nerve
To talk to her once again,
I thought this time,
Maybe, just maybe
I have a chance with her.

She did enjoy the conversation
All very much, and even I
Found myself having enjoyed it too.

Maybe I could finally ask her out,
Not only on a date,
But maybe to the school dances
Like homecoming and maybe prom.

I had such high hopes.

However, after talking to her
A couple more times after that,
It went back to the same thing...
Not really an interest to be taken.

So I gave up,
I thought to myself
"What's the point?
It's not like I can just tell her
How I feel about her.
I haven't even gotten a chance
To hang out with her all these years,
She doesn't really know me that well,
And maybe it just might be super awkward..."

She wasn't dating anyone in high school
As far as I know, but who knows?

Maybe she wasn't interested in dating
During the time of high school.

Could she have been waiting for me
To finally say the words to her?

I will never know...

Though, looking back at it,
If anyone ever asked me
Who was my big-time
High school crush back then
That never really happened,
I would tell them about her.

I had a lot of high school girls
That I crushed on quite a lot,
But Stephanie was the one
That I remember very well.

Though, that ship sailed
Long, long ago...
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