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The High School Experience: Worth it or Not?

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Posted March 19th 2014 at 07:58 AM by CrusadingAvenger

I made this a thread in the General section of the Support Forums, but I just decided why not have this as a blog entry as well.

I've been feeling the blues lately...I just don't know how to explain the feeling inside of me. All of a sudden now, I just feel like I don't want to be at high school anymore. I've quit trying to find new people in high school with the hopes of forming some kind of relationship with them because let's face it: they're just immature and lack any sense of empathy. Me being a lot more mature than they are, you can see why I don't really bother any longer trying to get them to be part of my life. Plus, I just realized that I don't really want to be close to anyone new in high school because it's most likely that once high school ends, I'm never going to see that person again. I don't want to be with them for a few months, and then we end up parting ways and never keeping in touch. To top it off, I feel like I'm just going to end up going to Prom on my own...However, that isn't much of a surprise to me considering the fact that I never went to any of the Homecomings or school dances anyways (I only went to one school dance during Senior year, but that's it). At this point, date or no date, I'm still going to go to Prom, but I'm not sure how I'll take seeing everyone else including my friends dancing with their dates. Heck, even my best friend was able to ask out his date to Prom about a month ago. Ever since near the end of Junior year, I kept envisioning that I would ask a girl out to Prom in a really sweet way, and then that would possibly be the start of a love that will prosper. Ugh, overrated I know...

Speaking of high school itself, this is something that I've been questioning for quite some time already. Coming to almost a close with my high school years, I can say that it was a pretty good experience, but would it be something I'd want to repeat again if I was given the option to? Most likely not, and there are several reasons that validate my answer. The main one being the dynamic social structure. From what I've observed, most teens in high school lack maturity, and are often judgmental of others. Every relationship they engage in, whether it'd be a "love" relationship or a friendship, are not taken seriously and therefore, they end up taking advantage of it. Not that I'm implying that all relationships/friendships are like this, but let's face it: most teens in high school are only in it for themselves. Nothing is meant to be taken seriously, and the sad part about that is some of us do take every relationship/friendship we engage in seriously because it matters to us more than anything. When we end up getting hurt by that person, it tears us apart on the inside and makes us do things that we never thought we were capable of doing. We even begin to question ourselves as to who we are, and if we're doing something wrong, or if there's something wrong about ourselves. That's where some of us feel insecure about ourselves and feel like no one will understand us no matter how hard we try to be our best selves. To make us even feel more insecure and disgusted by ourselves, some of us get bullied and picked on because of reasons that are invalid such as we're "a nobody", we don't have good looks, we're not of "popular reputation", etc. So many high schoolers judge others right away just by what they see, not by getting to know the person. It's these very things that make high school a place full of fake faces, and people only do certain things that show "empathy" if it involves some incentive that will benefit only themselves.

Even further, high school attempts to cover its flawed social dynamic by creating these "web of lies" that try to convince us that we have this hint of hope that everything and everyone is great around us. They tell us that we're beautiful no matter what. They tell us that we need to be ourselves, not what others want us to be. They tell us to never give up on anything. Anyone can word anything or say anything to make it sound all soothing and inspiring to the point where we think we are confident within ourselves and with who we are. Then why on earth do these "words of wisdom" so to speak are choked on when it comes to the reality of high school and the people that are part of it? We have these motivational speakers, quotes from well-known people in the world posted around the school, movies/videos we watch, all to teach us a moral lesson and learn from it so those very same mistakes are never made again. Though, the question remains: why don't a vast majority of people follow these examples? It's like where's everyones' sense of empathy these days? Doesn't anyone know the difference between what's wrong and what's right anymore?

Looking back at my high school years up to now, I now realize the truth behind high school. It's not a place nor environment worthy of developing meaningful relationships with others. While there are some exceptions to that, this is what it is for the most part. I used to feel like I was missing out on a lot by not ever dating a girl in high school, not ever going to any of the homecomings, you name it. I felt like I was part of this 5% group in the whole school that wasn't good enough for anyone and was never going to get a chance to be with my special someone. However, now that my maturity has become more advanced and I now remain with my own independence, I now see the clear picture: I wasn't missing much to begin with, nor am I missing much now with my last few months of high school. Most people in high school end their friendships/relationships in the most ridiculous ways possible, and over the most ridiculous reasons. It was only then when I realized this that I found out the reason as to why I never did date a girl in high school in the first place. To be honest, it doesn't matter much to me anymore. I still believe in love, and I figured I'd wait until I come across the right partner to dance with. Besides, why do what everyone else is doing when you can just pave the way to your own path? It doesn't matter what the people think about you; it's what you think of yourself that counts and matters most.
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