A Bit Overwhelmed With Senior Year

Even though I've been at the same school for a long while since freshmen year, I feel like almost every day is my first day of high school. It's just weird that I feel that way even though I'm now officially an upperclassmen. So, here I am, just finished with my third week of senior year. What do I think of my experience so far? Well, while I really enjoy all my classes, and I'm pretty much set with my plans for college, I just find the socializing aspect of the new school year challenging. The reason why I say that is because from approaching a lot of people (I will admit: majority of these people are girls that I've approached), there have been a handful of them that either didn't even bother to carry on the conversation, or they just end up being on their phones and leave me hanging in the air. I have never approached so many girls before in my whole entire high school life than now. (Sighs)...at times I feel like a really dumb fool for even approaching them, but then again, how am I supposed to know if I don't take action into making an effort to approach and initiate a conversation?

However, my efforts to meeting new people have yielded some really pleasing results. I've met some really outgoing people with great personal qualities, and now, I have a couple, maybe a few girls that could be my potential love interest. I know that I can't always guarantee myself that whenever I meet a girl and she expresses interest, she's the one girl I've been waiting for, but I know deep down inside that if I just keep trying and keep myself open to some potential options, I'll find that girl before I know it. It's just going to have to take a lot of effort from me, and I'm determined to accomplish that this year, but as someone once mentioned to me, high school isn't the end to finding someone, and in all honesty, it really isn't. There's still college for that to happen, but I have a feeling that somehow, it'll happen this school year.

Which brings me to another thing that has overwhelmed me a bit: a girl that I recently became friends with. I won't go into a whole lot of detail on it, but to make a long story short, she's basically troubled emotionally. Some days she'll be really depressed, and then act like nothing really happened. From what I've seen and observed from hanging out with this girl, her emotional state is really unpredictable. Although, as of right now, she's okay, which I'm really relieved about because I was afraid that she might've resorted back to SH since she told me that she used to do that (she doesn't do that anymore though since her parents found out about it and made her get rid of all her cutting tools; one month free from that; go figure). I just hope that I can really be there for her and be a really good friend to her. My senior year has been a bit overwhelming because of that, but I'm not going to give up on her. Even though this is feeling like a re-run of my experience with Anne, something about this girl feels different this time. I feel like for once in a long time, I'm doing the right thing by having a sense of empathy for others, and that's something that I haven't had much of these past few years up until last school year. That's when I started looking at things from a different perspective, and began to look beyond my own desires. As you can probably tell, I'm a little stressed and scared for this year because I really don't know what's out there waiting for me. The one thing I just keep telling myself though: as long as you keep strong and have faith, all will fall into place.

Well, I guess this goes as follows: wish me all the best that senior year will be more than just another great school year. May it be the one to make my overall high school experience worth experiencing (if that makes any sense, haha).