The Worst Facebook Experience

They say it's the hardships and struggles of life that contributes into shaping who you are. Time and time again, I've found that statement proven to be true. Although, it's difficult coping with such past experiences, especially when you let it get to you and bring you down to the darkest levels you never thought you were capable of undergoing. Let's begin.

It was after my freshmen year in high school had come to its end. It was the start of summer, and here I was thinking "What should I do during this summer?" Obviously, I didn't want to just sit around the house and stare at the wall all day. At the time, I was making videos of myself singing on Youtube to promote myself out there to get known (btw, I took out that channel a couple months later due to the fact that I realized I wasn't ready yet). Besides just attempting to get myself known, I decided I wanted to create a Facebook account. I heard around the school that almost everyone had a Facebook, so I figured "Why not?" Then, I do all the things that first-time Facebook users have to do: registration, creating profile, adding friends, etc. After all that was done, I decided to start a conversation with the friends I added on Facebook. There was one that I had recognized from middle school, and I really wanted to talk to her since she'd always look my way and smile at me whenever I happened to pass by her. Sometimes, we even talked a bit. Like usual, I won't give an actual name, but let's just call this girl Terri. So, I message her, ask her if she recognized me, and she said she didn't really. Despite that, she talks to me anyways. I tell her about my youtube channel, and she absolutely went crazy over me after viewing my videos. She had requested that I do a Justin Beiber song since she was a huge fan of his music. I was hesitant to do it at first since I'm not all that into Justin Beiber's songs, but I decided to do it since I wanted to do this personally for her.

A few days passed by. We were messaging back and forth whenever we could, and it was all going great. To be honest, I was actually beginning to fall for her. She was a really pretty girl even though she's a year older than I am. While we were messaging each other when she was online on Facebook, I mentioned that I've never really dated anyone even though most of the songs that I sing is about love. She freaked out like I've been living under a rock and told me "That's crazy! You're so cute!" At that moment, I let my doubts and suspicions fade, and I really believed that she liked me. I told her that I really wished I got to know her better when we were in middle school. That night, I was growing really smitten over her. However, the next day changed everything...

So, as I was practicing and rehearsing some songs in my room, during my breaks I decide to check Facebook, and what I saw in my notifications shocked me: Terri had sent me a relationship request! It was hard to believe, and I almost wanted to accept it at that instant, but I gave it some hard thought before doing so. After half an hour of thinking about it, I decide to accept it, and then, at that moment, Terri vanished off the grid. I was really confused, and worried... I desperately tried to search for her name on Facebook, even on my friends list, and she was nowhere to be found.... I thought I really hurt this girl, and that maybe not accepting the relationship request was the reason why she unfriended me. So, how did I take this? Well, me being naive and unexperienced at the time being, I panicked, and I actually did one of the most stupid things ever: I posted about what happened with this girl as my status for everyone to see, and I mentioned in there that I was going to cry... One of my friends had commented on my post, saying that he felt sorry about that, and I told him to go talk with this girl since he mentioned that he's friends with her. I wait for a response, and this is what I found out:

He told me that Terri had said the relationship request was a mistake, and one of her friends had sent it. I was puzzled, and I asked him if he could ask her to friend me again on Facebook. He told me that Terri wouldn't friend me again as she had blocked me on Facebook...., but here's the devastating part: she let her friends play me like a puppet then cut my strings. I was never talking to her in the first place.....her friends had taken turns to talk to me while impersonating themselves as Terri herself, and everything that we talked about and the things she said was all a lie.....

It was a big joke...., and I had fallen for it like a dumb fool without having the slightest clue......

I was crushed.....I got out of the house and ran as fast as I can, and as far as I can like crazy. I felt like a madman for a moment. As I reached an empty open field where no one was around or would be able to hear me, I went to the gates of a baseball field, and I punched and pounded furiously on them. I was very upset with myself....

How could I have been such a fool?

Then, I walked into the middle of the open field, dropped down on my knees, and screamed as loud as I can to let my frustration out... Then, after quite some time, I broke down crying...., all alone on the open field.....

This was the first time that I had been humiliated on the Internet, and I never knew how painful it really was. I couldn't help but know the fact that somewhere out there, Terri and her friends were laughing at the sick joke they pulled on me.....

That day, no one was there to comfort me.....

There was no one that I could turn to truly for comfort.....

For the first time in my life, I've never felt so vulnerable, and broken in both spirit...and soul......