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Well...odd life

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Posted December 2nd 2010 at 03:26 AM by CrimsonTippedPetals

Okay, well I'm sitting here with a really bad headache, and wondering why. I think it might be the new birth control I'm on. My mom had me go on it since I'm going to New Jersey to visit some online friends this New Years. She is afraid I'll have random sex even if I'm not ready yet, and I feel as if she can't trust me. She has pretty much said this, but her cover up for that is that I have really bad 'times of the months' according to her. It's true, but I mean, I have headaches nearly every night now.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be doing homework, and I'm totally procrastinating. I wish I was talking to my boyfriend, but he went to sleep already. =( It's funny how I get sad every time he logs off or something, it's as if I am addicted to him. But he is the only one that will listen to me bitch, and sometimes he thinks I bottles things up too much, which is true. I rarely ever complain, and when I do, I end up crying a lot. I have a problem with depression/loneliness. I don't ever get to feel a warm persons hugs. I've actually never been hugged.

Not to mention...I can't feel hate, it's just something I can't feel. I mean, my dad did so many things to me in the past, but I can't /hate/ him for it. It's really odd, because he did such terrible things. I really wish I knew why my brain works the way it does.

Anywho...this is my rant for the evening. Talk to this blog later.

-Crim
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