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This Is Just A Little Taste Of The Wacky, Weird And Crazy Thoughts That Make Their Way Through My Mind Everyday....
Okay.
Okay, so I have a lot to catch up on.
Like I've found out that both of my brothers are following in my fathers footsteps.
They're becoming just like him, their both spitting images of him, they're both well on their way to becoming child molesting, addicts.
And I'm sick of being pulled down by them, it seems like every time I start to soar, or just starting to feel better they get into trouble and I get dragged into it. Like I'm guilty by association.
And I'm tired of having to prove myself to everyone that I am my own person, that I will not become like them, that I will uphold the family name and not put it to shame.
Just like they are doing.
It's like a slap to the face every time, they don't even have to say anything. It's just the look in their eyes that hurts so much. I can't take it anymore.
I'm not even 18 yet and I'm already expected to do so much, to hold my brothers together, to make my mom proud. Since we're all that's left of her.
All this pressure is too much, I'm cracking and I'm not even on my own yet.
How am I supposed to go through with everything that I'm expected to?
Oh well, not like any of this matters anyway.
We all know that I'll fail sooner or later.
I don't even count as a human being any way.
I can't fill the shoes that my mom did, She was so strong, I don't even know how she lasted so long.
Anyway, just needed somewhere to rant.
So yeah.
*Edit*
I forgot to add that I've found love and lost it again over the summer. It sucks, but whatever. At least I've had the chance to love.
It didn't last long because I was too afraid of telling my family that I was in love with someone who was the same sex as me. I'm a coward, and it hurts because she was the only one who ever gave me the time of day. And I let her slip through me fingers. God, I'm such an idiot. .___.
Like I've found out that both of my brothers are following in my fathers footsteps.
They're becoming just like him, their both spitting images of him, they're both well on their way to becoming child molesting, addicts.
And I'm sick of being pulled down by them, it seems like every time I start to soar, or just starting to feel better they get into trouble and I get dragged into it. Like I'm guilty by association.
And I'm tired of having to prove myself to everyone that I am my own person, that I will not become like them, that I will uphold the family name and not put it to shame.
Just like they are doing.
It's like a slap to the face every time, they don't even have to say anything. It's just the look in their eyes that hurts so much. I can't take it anymore.
I'm not even 18 yet and I'm already expected to do so much, to hold my brothers together, to make my mom proud. Since we're all that's left of her.
All this pressure is too much, I'm cracking and I'm not even on my own yet.
How am I supposed to go through with everything that I'm expected to?
Oh well, not like any of this matters anyway.
We all know that I'll fail sooner or later.
I don't even count as a human being any way.
I can't fill the shoes that my mom did, She was so strong, I don't even know how she lasted so long.
Anyway, just needed somewhere to rant.
So yeah.
*Edit*
I forgot to add that I've found love and lost it again over the summer. It sucks, but whatever. At least I've had the chance to love.
It didn't last long because I was too afraid of telling my family that I was in love with someone who was the same sex as me. I'm a coward, and it hurts because she was the only one who ever gave me the time of day. And I let her slip through me fingers. God, I'm such an idiot. .___.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Hey.
Ranting's perfectly okay here. It's a great way to safely get your feelings out. If you ever want to talk to anybody, though, I'm happy to listen.
Posted May 18th 2012 at 02:40 AM by Storyteller.
