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Six weeks later
Posted August 13th 2010 at 05:48 PM by Sin
6 weeks of my life gone...did i get anything out of it? Other than the ability to lie really well i dont think so. The first 3 weeks were so hard, i tried my best to open up, to get help. For the first time ever i said how i was feeling. I let myself be 'takin care of'. I didnt hide it when i self harmed. I was completly honest. What good did it do...well let me see...they drugged me up so much I barely had any idea what was going on. They stopped my visitors so i could have a good 'rest'. They had me on 24 hour watch all the time. So i thought to myself that if this is what getting better is like then i would prefer being unwell. And from there came to plan to get out of hospital.
The nurses were so happy that i came out the other side of my illness as they would put it. My appetite all of a sudden returned, my self harming stopped. My mood improved dramatically. And so i started to get better. A week of being the model patient got rid of my 24 hour nurse, another week got me back my visitors. It was time to ask to go home...it took me awhile to convince them my mood was stable. Another week being the happy cirpy weirdo in a physc hosp. But a few well aimed promises got me my discharge papers....
3 weeks of hiding food
3 weeks of cutting in places that wouldnt be seen
3 weeks of crying in the bathroom
3 weeks of playing the person i wish i was
The nurses were so happy that i came out the other side of my illness as they would put it. My appetite all of a sudden returned, my self harming stopped. My mood improved dramatically. And so i started to get better. A week of being the model patient got rid of my 24 hour nurse, another week got me back my visitors. It was time to ask to go home...it took me awhile to convince them my mood was stable. Another week being the happy cirpy weirdo in a physc hosp. But a few well aimed promises got me my discharge papers....
3 weeks of hiding food
3 weeks of cutting in places that wouldnt be seen
3 weeks of crying in the bathroom
3 weeks of playing the person i wish i was
Curtains closed
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Really sorry to hear it, sounds like it was horrible.
You really didn't deserve to go through that, some hospitals can help but sadly some are just awful. Glad you got out of that, but really hope you'll be ok.
I know it's hard to imagine, but things really can get better. You're incredibly strong for coming as far as you have. I'm sorry being honest didn't help, but maybe it's a question of finding the right people to reach out to. The person you "wish you were" is still the person you can be if you really want it. Don't give up. If you ever need to talk about anything at all, PM anytime
Posted August 14th 2010 at 02:01 AM by DarkSeph
