Sinking Slowly

Last night was the happiest I've been in so long. I spent the night with my boyfriend, and we just cwtched (cuddled, for you non-Welsh people) almost all night. But this morning, my boyfriend walked me to my bus stop and I had to say goodbye.
We're now 163 miles apart once again, for at least another 8 weeks.
It's his 18th birthday on Tuesday and I'm not going to be there to celebrate with him. It's also our 2 year 'anniversary', if you may, on the 1st of May. Once again, I won't be there.
The idea of not being there for two major events is killing me.
Ever since I caught the bus this morning, I felt like a part of me was missing, and it's really tough to know that the best part of me is so far away.
I'm so tempted to take a blade to my skin. To drag it across and watch as the beads of blood form and start to run down my arms and legs.
I haven't yet. It's been 11 days since the last time I did it, but I know this next 15 days are going to be the worst days of my life so far. I just know it.
I have to go back to college in 8 hours. I can't sleep. I wish I couldn't eat. I don't want to eat, but I keep eating. I feel so fat. There are so many things that are triggering me right now, and I can't stop thinking about the blades.