Sat here crying....again. Feel so pathetic. Today hasn't been to bad. I feel low and still want to feel pain and OD so badly but i forced myself to leave the house, met up with some friends. Had a few laughs. Decided that it would be a good idea to have a wheres wally themed party and everyone dress up a wally Made me laugh. My sister may have it for her birthday

I'm not sure how i feel right now. Thinking about things, everything seems so messed up. Feel shakey and horrible....

Should never have sent that text. Should never have said anything to her. Said to much. She hates me now. Well congratulations Emma, thats another thing that you have messed up.

Can't stop thinking about the past. I'd give anything for things to be how they were. To have her back in my life. To have my dad here and not with that idiot. To see her happy again. To have not started self harming. To have never told her about this.

Can't stop these thoughts. I can't control...

Feel so low right now. Don't care about anything anymore. resorted to pills this morning at like 4am just so i could sleep. Took to many but oh well who cares.
Think i'd have probably just walked infront of a car or something last night if it wasn't for someone amazing. Thanks beauitful, you know who you are. <3
Feel so dizzy and fuzzy. Just want to hide away and sleep. Preferably never getting up again. Feel so pathetic and horrible. Want to feel something other than this pain. Wanttogobuypills....

I don't care anymore and neither should you.
May just go a walk in the dark to the main road walk infront of a car or something anthing just for this to fucking stop. Want to take more pills. Probably will don't care anymore

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Found out one of the few people that actually even bothers talking to me at my school is leaving, she didn't get high enough grades. She was the only person who talked to me for months and now shes not going to be there. Seriously can this school get any worse?

Feel so disgusting. Haven't eaten today. Everyone asked me why i wasn't eating at lunhc, just said i wasn't hungry. My own friend looked at me as if to say lier, you need to eat. But she didn't call me up on it, she knew what...

Ergh can't stand myself. Hate myself so much. Fatfatfatfatfatfatfatfat need to lose weight. Starve Emma, you don't deserve food. You dont deserve anything.


Feel so alone right now. Hate been the only one thats never invited to all these parties. Hate been the only one of my so called friends that doesn't get invited out. Noone wants to spend time with me. Apparently i'm to much effort and...

L from the crisis teams been calling most the morning. Don't want to talk. Don't want to go out, don't want to see anyone, don't want to be alive.

I'm such a horrible person