I get the message i know exactly what you're trying to say. I just wish people would come out and say it. Noone wants me around. I can't say i blame anyone but thats how it feels whereever i go, whoever i'm with. I'm sick of feeling so alone. So lost. I need someone but i have noone. I've pushed everyone away. The only thing i have left is my blade.
I'm terrified about things. I don't want to face this week, especially not alone but it's not like i have much choice. Maybe i should just listen...

Supposed to be in school can't handle it right now. Just had a huge breakdown in the doctors. Felt so stupid. I don't cry I just don't. I don't know who I am anymore. Everyone says they're worried about me and I shouldn't be thinking like this. I don't want to be like this. I've pushed everyone away when I need people most and I can't stop there stupid images. I'm going to have to go fake a smile and go into school now. Pretend everythings ok.
Buying more pills tonight. Can't do this. ...

Don't know How I feel. Just know I feel so alone. Clinging on to life by the skin of my teeth. One more Push and I'm going to fall further than I've ever fallen before and hope I never get back up again.

I'm falling apart right now but i can't let anyone see that. I have to keep it together somehow but its getting so much harder to fake a smile and pretend that everythings ok. I guess i have no choice though. I have to be ok...I am ok. If i say it enough times maybe i'll believe it. Who knows.
I'm just not coping at all at the moment. I'm on a self destruct mode and noone seems to even notice. I suppose i...

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So i messed up again. Always destroying everything. Letting everyone down. Why did i ever open my mouth. Now she hates me. i don't blame her i mean who wants to put up with me? even i don't want to live with myself and if i hate me how can anyone else possibly like me?

Don't really want to go back to school anymore. My favourite teachers just left and now i hate every lesson and almost everyone in the school. I have pushed all my friends away. Can't concentrate on work and feel so left...

There are so many things i regret in life. I just can't stop think about them recently. I've been playing things over and over in my head. Trying to make sense of things but what if theres nothing to make sense of? What if this is it? I'm tired of fighting. I know what i have to do.

Feel so weak and broken. I'm irreparable and it's not like anyone even cares.

I'm sorry i'm not good enough. I'm sorry i'm not perfect. I'm sorry i'm alive.

Private entries cannot be viewed from this page. Click here to view this entry if you have permission to.

Private entries cannot be viewed from this page. Click here to view this entry if you have permission to.