I'm not sure I ever mattered at all
Posted May 7th 2012 at 07:12 PM by Anatidaephobia
Lately I've been wondering how much I can really affect anyone's life. I mean people say that they want to really make a difference and I'd like that even if it was just with one person but I'm not really sure if I could ever be that person who brightens anyone's day or helps anyone. I try my best to be there for everyone that means a lot for me and I'd do anything I can to help them when they're struggling, upset or anything. I' m always nice to people and I try my beat to be happy and friendly as a smile really can save someone's life but can this ever be enough?
I leave school for good on Friday and I'm 99% certain that that'll be it and my friends won't even bother with me. The truth is I find that people can replace me so easily that it makes me feel so small and worthless. Like I really don't matter at all to anyone and that really hurts. I'm very much aware that my brain amplifies these thoughts and that my brain makes me feel a lot less worthwhile than I am I guess but then no one has ever stuck around in my life. I've never had a best friend or anyone I'm really close to because everyone leaves. I've always tried and this makes it harder I guess. I just hate being rejected all the time. People say there's nothing wrong with me but there must be. Why else would no one want me on there life? I guess I'm just not important or special enough for anyone to really care.
I'm sorry.
I leave school for good on Friday and I'm 99% certain that that'll be it and my friends won't even bother with me. The truth is I find that people can replace me so easily that it makes me feel so small and worthless. Like I really don't matter at all to anyone and that really hurts. I'm very much aware that my brain amplifies these thoughts and that my brain makes me feel a lot less worthwhile than I am I guess but then no one has ever stuck around in my life. I've never had a best friend or anyone I'm really close to because everyone leaves. I've always tried and this makes it harder I guess. I just hate being rejected all the time. People say there's nothing wrong with me but there must be. Why else would no one want me on there life? I guess I'm just not important or special enough for anyone to really care.
I'm sorry.
Total Comments 7
Comments
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Posted May 7th 2012 at 07:26 PM by Everglow. -
Posted May 7th 2012 at 08:41 PM by Nomophobia -
Posted May 7th 2012 at 09:44 PM by WhisperingSilence -
You will never ever be rejected by me Emma. Listen chick you mean a lot to me you really do. I am never gonna forget you and never gonna leave you. Promise. I rarely ever make promises because I know there is a chance it could be broken but Im telling you now, this promise right here will never be broken, as goes for our friendship. Im gonna be here for you, be here with you for ever and ever and ever as long as you need me. Don't ever forget that. Distance is tough but we can sort it. We got holidays coming up soon, and then exams will be over finally and we will link up and have a good time. Believe me honey, you make a difference to me. I logged on today and saw your VM and it made me smile after such a shit day Ive had I needed that real bad, thank you beautiful, you mean alot to me. Stay strong and keep happy with what you've got you don't need anymore than true honest friendship, and you've got that. Love you more than I can say, now smile for me gorgeous.. I'm waiting! ...... That's it Thankyou <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted May 7th 2012 at 09:47 PM by x_sepi_x -
You'll always matter to me. <3
Posted May 7th 2012 at 10:13 PM by Stargazed. -
Posted May 8th 2012 at 03:07 AM by Lumos. -
Em, I've felt similar to how you are. Sometimes, I still feel that way. But I can assure you, even though I've never personally met you, I do know I care about you. You are so caring and sweet! I would notice if you were gone and I would miss you. I'm sorry there are some people who don't know how to show that they care, and there are some who take other people for granted.
Talk to me if you need/want to. Miss you <3 Stay strong, beautiful!Posted May 9th 2012 at 12:40 PM by escape_thereal_world