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Update *Trig*

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Posted January 29th 2012 at 06:42 PM by Anatidaephobia


Sorry I haven't rally been on much. I've been an extemely horrible and selfish person recently and I haven't really been coping. I've had exams which i'm 98% certain I've failed, stupid amounts of coursework which I just can't do and everything is just too much.

My mom found out about a lot of stuff the other day. That was awkward. It wet better than I was expecting but I still hate it

I regret ever telling ---------- anything. It's probably me blowing everything out of proportion but I think shes mad at me. She doesn't want to be alone with me and she won't really talk to me anymore. I spoke to a friend about it and she helped so much (thank you, you know who you are if your reading this.) Anyway she wasn't at school the past few days but I should probably try talk to ------- to see if she's mad at me or at least let her ask what she wants or whatever. I don't really want to but I guess I have too.

So people know now. I'm lying. Pretending to be happy. Hiding the fact that I cut and overdose more. The fact that i say up until 4 in the morning exercising. The fact that I've been restricting more and more. I hate that I'm hurting everyone. I wish no one cared I'm not worth it.

I'm a horrible person and everyone is better off without me. But really I'm fine. If FINE is an acronym for fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional wreck.
I'm a train crash and no one notices. I feel invisible and theres so much I could write but I just think whats the point? Why bother, not like anyone cares really anyway. All I can think about is killing myself and I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be ok.
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  1. Old Comment
    ☪ ERIN JUDE ☪'s Avatar
    It will all be okay hun <3
    I'm here if you ever wanna talk about anything
    Love you<3
    -erin<3
    permalink
    Posted January 29th 2012 at 07:01 PM by ☪ ERIN JUDE ☪ ☪ ERIN JUDE ☪ is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Honey, I care. You deserve so much more. I miss you and I've been thinking about you. I love you so much. I just want you to know that you don't have to pretend. It's alright not to be okay. Take care of yourself. <3
    permalink
    Posted January 29th 2012 at 07:45 PM by Stargazed. Stargazed. is offline
  3. Old Comment
    zombiehunterforhire's Avatar
    Hope you're alright girlie. love ya buddy
    -Alex
    permalink
    Posted January 29th 2012 at 07:51 PM by zombiehunterforhire zombiehunterforhire is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Lumos.'s Avatar
    Emma, I care. You don't have to pretend. Your beautiful,and amazing. I love you. Im here if you ever need to talk. <3
    permalink
    Posted January 29th 2012 at 08:20 PM by Lumos. Lumos. is offline
  5. Old Comment
    WhisperingSilence's Avatar
    You are not a horrid or selfish person, And people would not be better off without you, I would miss you! You don't have to pretend to be okay it is okay to not be okay, keep going and keep fighting you can do this things will get better. you know where i am if you need me.
    permalink
    Posted January 29th 2012 at 08:41 PM by WhisperingSilence WhisperingSilence is offline
 
 
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