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Just another selfish pointless blog, don't even bother reading it *Trig*

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Posted November 27th 2011 at 08:57 PM by Anatidaephobia


I feel so empty and numb. I just don't know what I am supposed to do anymore. I'm never going to be good enough. Im so tired of people lying to me and saying that I am pretty. That they'll be there when I need them. That they care about me. I'm sick of all the lies.

I'm sure a little slut. Deserve to be punished. Need pain. Need to feel something. Giving up on life.

Been binging, put on loads of weight. Feel disgusting and fat. Don't deserve food. Starvation it is. Need to be skinny. I'm disgusting.

Funeral tomorrow. Another great day i suppose. Just fake a smile and pretend your happy or fall apart. And I am not going to let myself fall apart.

I just want to slice my skin open, feel pain. I need it. Have a bunch of pills only a few more. May just overdose on my old meds tonight. I don't want to live anymore. I'm trying but it's so freaking hard on my own. I feel forgotten. Sure people say they care but noones ever stuck around long enough to prove it.

I miss my friend like hell. Still blame myself. I know I could have done something. Just another thing that proves Im not good enough and never going to be.

I'm not perfect and my friend made the point that if there is not such thingas perfection then surely we are all perfectly imperfect, so perfection does exsist to some form and I'm not going to stop until I've achieved it.

Don't even expect anyone to read this or comment, it's not worth you wasting your time over. Just forget about me and give up on me.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    WhisperingSilence's Avatar
    I care and I'm staying put, and you know I care. I won't forget and I won't give up on you. I read your blogs because I care. I'm not wasting my time commenting -even if you think I have wasted my time commenting, I haven't. Your'e not a waste of time and never will be. You don't need the pills. Keep going and keep fighting - you can and will beat this, things will get better. I won't ever give up on your or forget you. And you are not a slut and never will be. Keep going and keep fighting things will get better.
    permalink
    Posted November 27th 2011 at 09:15 PM by WhisperingSilence WhisperingSilence is online now
  2. Old Comment
    I don't know what to say besides I care about you. I really do. I'm always here. Keep on going. I love you.
    permalink
    Posted November 27th 2011 at 09:18 PM by Stargazed. Stargazed. is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Hey Emma, I'm sorry to hear your feeling like this. But honestly I completely feel the same way as you are right now.

    I understand the empty promises people make in hopes "it will make you feel better" :hug:

    But I do mean it when I say that you are not a waste of time. You are good enough, And your are not going to be forgotten.

    I'm pretty sure you see me around enough to contact me on here if you need someone to talk to you can talk to me. And I'll prove to you that not everyone is like that. :hug:
    permalink
    Posted November 27th 2011 at 09:21 PM by Zyzz Zyzz is offline
  4. Old Comment
    zombiehunterforhire's Avatar
    Everything will be fine. i promise. here have a free hug
    permalink
    Posted November 28th 2011 at 01:05 AM by zombiehunterforhire zombiehunterforhire is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Just Peachy.'s Avatar
    Emma, you know I care. I may not be here lately. But you can always shoot me a PM or a message on FB. Keep fighting. You're worth it dear<3
    permalink
    Posted November 28th 2011 at 05:10 PM by Just Peachy. Just Peachy. is offline
 
 
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