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Life has a habbit of throwing things back in your face (Trig)
Posted July 24th 2011 at 07:37 PM by Anatidaephobia
Tried to help today. Screwed up as usual. My mom asked me to clean the windows. I wanted to. I wanted to help her and prove i'm not as useless as everyone makes out but i just couldn't do it. It was stupidly sunny. Everyone was outside in bikini tops or short sleeves. I had a long sleeved jumper on hiding all my scars that noone knows about. I couldn't risk anyone seeing. So it told her i didn't want to but i would do something else. She moaned but i guess i'd rather that than her find out the truth.
Went and tided my room then. Found a load more pills. It's quite scary how many i have now. I think there's at least 400. Probably should throw them out but i just can't bring myself to do it. I'm tempted to just take them and be done with this whole mess.
Scared about this week. I don't know what to do. I really don't think i can go on my own not anymore but then how do i let on to my so called friends that i need them. They're currently ignoring me. I'm of no use to them right now. They don't want me to sort anything out or do work for them so they simply ignore me. It's my own fault. If i was nicer and not such a horrible person then maybe i'd have better friends that actually cared about me. But that's never going to happen. I'm horrible and don't deserve it.
Gah feeling so low right now. Don't know how much longer i can ignore these urges for. Don't know how much longer i can fight ths and stay alive when all everyone wants is for me to die.
Went and tided my room then. Found a load more pills. It's quite scary how many i have now. I think there's at least 400. Probably should throw them out but i just can't bring myself to do it. I'm tempted to just take them and be done with this whole mess.
Scared about this week. I don't know what to do. I really don't think i can go on my own not anymore but then how do i let on to my so called friends that i need them. They're currently ignoring me. I'm of no use to them right now. They don't want me to sort anything out or do work for them so they simply ignore me. It's my own fault. If i was nicer and not such a horrible person then maybe i'd have better friends that actually cared about me. But that's never going to happen. I'm horrible and don't deserve it.
Gah feeling so low right now. Don't know how much longer i can ignore these urges for. Don't know how much longer i can fight ths and stay alive when all everyone wants is for me to die.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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I'm not ignoring you. I'm here. You are not a horrible person and I care about you. You can fight this. Don't give up. Keep fighting you can do this.Posted July 24th 2011 at 08:58 PM by WhisperingSilence
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Keep fighting Emma, you can do this, you can make it.
And you should throw away those pills if you don't need them. It would keep you safer, and I want you safe. 
Posted July 24th 2011 at 10:23 PM by Coffee.
