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Am i so insignificant? (Trig)

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Posted May 8th 2011 at 02:39 PM by Anatidaephobia
Updated May 8th 2011 at 02:56 PM by Anatidaephobia


This week has just been getting worse and worse and worse Don't know how much more i can take to be honest.

I found out that practically noone cares and that when things get tough i have noone.

If it wasn't for my friend last night, i don't think i would be here right now. She has saved my life so many times now. I don't know what i would do without her <3 I just wish there was something i could do to help her feel better and see what everyone else sees shes so lovely and i hate that she can't see that.

I am so scared to go back tomorrow. I can't take it anymore. School, yeah whats the point? I don't have a chance of passing, can't concentrate in lesson and now my friends are just been stupidly horrible. I wish i had never said anything. One of them grassed me up and is now avoiding me completely, one just completely ignoring me because i'm "too much hassle" and one is bitching about me and calling me names. Why did i think i could trust them and tell them that i cut....stupid Emma, STUPID!

I don't think theres one lesson that won't be awkward now. Thats not going to trigger me and make me want to cut or overdose. I think i'm either just refusing to ever go back or just jumping.

I hate how nothing is the same anymore. I miss how things used to be. I just want someone to notice, someone to care.
I just don't get it. What have i ever done to deserve this hell? I always try my best to help everyone, i am nice to everyone unless they genuinly don't deserve it; but even then i am still civil to them, i am always there for my friends, i try so bloody hard at everything, i never break promises, i don't judge anyone, i always respect everyone, i have never called anyone a name or hurt anyone out of spite or for no reason. I just don't get what i do wrong. I must be a horrible person. Maybe i don't deserve to live anymore.

I just don't know how to make it through tonight
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    *Jen*'s Avatar
    Your not horrible at all. You are an amazing and lovely person who doesn't deserve to feel like this. If your friends treat you like that then they are obviously not friends. You deserve so much better than that <3
    permalink
    Posted May 8th 2011 at 02:57 PM by *Jen* *Jen* is offline
  2. Old Comment
    L'espoir's Avatar
    I care about you, if you ever need a chat just send me a message x
    permalink
    Posted May 8th 2011 at 03:11 PM by L'espoir L'espoir is offline
  3. Old Comment
    WhisperingSilence's Avatar
    your not a horrible person at all! i care. i think you should keep fighting, go to school, ignore your friend. you do deserve to live.
    permalink
    Posted May 8th 2011 at 03:38 PM by WhisperingSilence WhisperingSilence is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Victoria ♥'s Avatar
    I care and i'm always here if you need me. You aren't alone in anything beautiful.
    You don't deserve to be treated like that because you're such a lovely person. They aren't worth it sweet, try not to let them get to you.
    Keep your chin up and don't give up because one day things will get better. I wish you knew how amazing you are. Stop putting yourself down sweetheart.<3
    permalink
    Posted May 8th 2011 at 03:46 PM by Victoria ♥ Victoria ♥ is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Riddikulus's Avatar
    Emma, Sweetheart,
    You are not a horrible person, you are amazing and i love you. Ignore them, they are not worth it!
    Hang in there and chin up beautiful, you have so much left to fight for. I am always here for you! <3
    permalink
    Posted May 8th 2011 at 03:53 PM by Riddikulus Riddikulus is offline
  6. Old Comment
    x_sepi_x's Avatar
    You did nothing to deserve this Emma. No-one does anything to deserve things like this. I love you and care for you so much and would hate to lose you. You can get through this you know huni. I'll always behere for you, just please don't do anything to yourself. Please don't. You go back tmro and hold your head high. Do your best and go through the day how you would like it to be. If anything comes in your way try and deal with it, or if you can't do that just ignore it, then go home and know that you've tried your absolute best and gotten thorugh it. It may be hard and may seem unachievable but you can do it babe, You're alot stronger than that. as for your friends just leave them be. your real friends are us here on teenhelp. Love you soo much sweet, hang in there <3333 xxxxxxxxxxxx
    permalink
    Posted May 8th 2011 at 04:12 PM by x_sepi_x x_sepi_x is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Coffee.'s Avatar
    Hey there, you didn't do anything wrong. Just breathe-You will get through it, it will get better.
    permalink
    Posted May 8th 2011 at 06:26 PM by Coffee. Coffee. is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Lumos.'s Avatar
    I care. you are not horrible at all , or stupid. Please live. I would be very sad if you died. If you ever need to talk i am here.
    Hang in there.
    permalink
    Posted May 9th 2011 at 06:49 AM by Lumos. Lumos. is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Troubled_Heart's Avatar
    Emma I care SO much about you... You're really cool and really kind and thoughtful, sometimes the best people get it the worst, maybe because the best can cope better... and you are they best! All these people here Love you SO much and you dying would be the most awful thing for us. Now you know who your friends are, they're not worth you if they can't help or support or just keep it a secret. Remember it's just school, if you can get through school you will meet better people, the future will always be better for someone as good as you, please just keep trying and remember who your real friends - the ones who matter - are! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
    permalink
    Posted May 9th 2011 at 06:03 PM by Troubled_Heart Troubled_Heart is offline
 
 
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