reborn

it's kinda as if indigo is dead as if she died and i'm standing in her place. it's kinda weird now but i like it. it's as if everyone is mourning the death of indigo even me, but at the same time it's good cuz Xander is a better person then indigo could ever be. as i was watching my hair fall of my head it felt as if i was being reborn and as if this time i was born right. each chunk of hair a peice of me i no longer felt i needed to hold on to. live was good as a girl but life as a boy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. i don't feel as if i'm in someone elses skin anymore. it's only been a few hours but already that hole in my soul is filling all i need to do is tell my dad. that was always going to be the hard part and i knew that but untill now i haven't even been able to think about it. i hope everything works out. i'm not just gonna tell him i'm going to send him a email today and call him tomorow i hope he will feel ok with this and that he will be able to call me his son. i'm just waiting for those words to come out of peoples mouth. Brother, son, him, he, his, boy, they are like drugs and the more people say them the more i want hear them. i think the day my dad calls me his son will be the day that i will never forget. if he can accept me then i can acept him as my father. i hope that day will come but if not then i guess i will just have to move on cuz i can't keep hiding from anyone no matter who. i am a boy just your plan old everyday bisexual male. simple as that