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Positivity.
I am feeling confident right now. I have had a LOT of depression lately so I don't know how long it will last. But hell. I am going to use this 5 AM confidence to make a blog of positive things and maybe I will look at this when I feel low as a reminder.
This list was supposed to be longer but I'm tired and half the things left my mind so here you go.
- I love my niece to death. She may be frustrating and tiring a lot of the time (terrible twos!) but I love her to death and she is honestly my world.
- I have friends who are very supportive. I have friends who are willing to take me to the pharmacy. I have friends who are just really lovely to hang out with. I have a friend who I have known since the 8th grade and we've gotten so close. I've met great people in college. I have TH friends.
- I have TH in general.
- I am really loving school so far. I know I've only completed one semester, but I loved going to class. I also loved going to clubs. I don't really like dorm life but I am going to stay optimistic and hope that whenever I get a different roommate if I like her it'll be better. Because I don't talk to mine. But I am SO excited to go to class when the semester starts up and SO excited to be going back to clubs. In high school I started dreading it when my anxiety and stuff got bad. I had a 3.92 GPA this first semester.
- I went to the gym for the first time yesterday and am going again today. It actually wasn't that bad. My brother in law showed me how to use some equipment. I am going to register for the gym at my school. I am tired of feeling unhealthy and this will be the year to change that. I think PE class in high school made me so scared of ever going to the gym but now I know it's not bad.
- I am starting to get help. I have a long road ahead of me and I can't say that I'm okay, or anything close to it, right now. But I'm making a start and that is what is good.
- I am starting to try new things. I've started to figure out what I like sexually. I've also tried alcohol, but no worries, I drank responsibly. I've pushed myself a little bit past my comfort zone with things, which is always good.
- I am starting to take on more adult responsibility, which is scary but good. I mean right now it's only filling out forms for myself and calling the pharmacy, things like that, but to me that's a lot!
- I am starting to learn how to make decisions and solve problems, even if it does take a little bit of stressing first.
- I just feel like I'm TRYING, and right now that is good enough for me.
This list was supposed to be longer but I'm tired and half the things left my mind so here you go.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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Yay for positivity! So happy to see that you came up with so many positive thoughts! Let's keep it up! Also so happy to see that thing's are getting so much better! You deserve happiness! :hug: :)Posted January 6th 2015 at 11:19 AM by Thereishope
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Dez, I am so happy to see this.
I am glad to see things are getting better for you! <3Posted January 6th 2015 at 11:41 AM by Chai.
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this post makes me so so happy. I want you to know that i'll always be here for you! And i want things to get even better.
Hugs!Posted January 6th 2015 at 02:06 PM by Green Yoshi
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DEZ. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. I'm so glad that you're liking college and loving the clubs and everything. It sucks about your roommate though. Congrats on the GPA and how well you've been doing. I hope it keeps going on strong. 
Posted January 7th 2015 at 01:52 AM by Chuuya
